by Cristina |
Last Updated: April 8, 2018 Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone did something that defies all common sense. This action was so beyond common sense that it prompted you to say “How could you do that?” and they blankly stare back at you as if they didn’t know there was an unwritten rule about this action. “What do you mean you didn’t know?” I feel there are a handful of these rules that absolutely offend me. Therefore, in order to rid these offenders of the excuse that “they didn’t know” because it’s an “unwritten rule” I am going to go ahead and just write them down, right now and give some clear examples:
Rule I
If I tell you that I am watching a TV show or about to watch a movie, do not under any circumstance tell me how it ends or what is going to happen. Scenario:
Me: “Hi Chris. Thanks for recommending Sons of Anarchy to watch. I just finished season 2 and I’m hooked.
Chris: “Oh that’s great Cristina, let me know when you get to the part when &%$#@&! Dies. That was a crazy scene.
Me:
Rule II
When we are at a restaurant and the waiter puts down our food and you look over and see my plate and think “Wow, that looks delicious” do not dare touch my plate and try my food before I have tried it. I knew it was going to be delicious, that is why I ordered it. Take a minute. Control yourself. I will offer you a bite when I’m good and ready. Scenario:
Me: Hi waiter. I’m going to be bad today. Give me the cheeseburger and side of french fries.
Amy: Oh. Good for you, Cristina! You deserve it! Waiter, I can’t eat that I’m trying a glutten free thing. Bring me a salad please with some grilled chicken.
Me: Wow Amy! So proud of you for sticking to your diet.
Food comes, waiter puts down the food, and Amy instinctively grabs a handful of fries.
Me:
Rule III
When you need a favor from me, and we aren’t best friends or really even friends and we barely speak to each other at all. Don’t text me with “Hey there. How are you?” We all know this is code for I need something from you. Maybe you sort of care how I am doing, but had it not been for that favor you desperately needed you wouldn’t have texted me at all. So let’s skip the small talk. I am totally fine doing you a favor just because you are you, and I am me. We don’t need to indulge in this merry go round of polite pleasantries. Text me how I am doing randomly, when you need absolutely nothing. That is the best.
John: [text] Hey Cristina! It’s been a while, how are you?
Me:
Rule IV
Don’t ever give me parenting advice that I did not ask you for. There is almost no exception to this rule. Keep all parenting opinions or thoughts to yourself unless explicitly asked. There are so many scenarios I could throw out here, but let’s go with this one:
Me: Oh my god. I am so tired! My 4 month old just won’t sleep through the night. I am so exhausted. This is so hard.
Jane: Oh well you should try what I did because my baby has been sleeping for 12 hours since she was 8 weeks old. They say it’s luck but I know it’s good parenting.
Me:
Rule V
Inch Up- I would like to thank John Cena and Jimmy Kimmel for doing their part in spreading awareness on this issue [if you didn’t catch that click HERE]. When you are driving and you get to a red light do not stop so far behind the car in front of you. Inch up! When you’re making a left, don’t stay behind the line you may miss the turn, Inch up! Do your part. I get it. Some people aren’t in a hurry, but some of us are perpetually late or trying to make it somewhere in a hurry and your inches could be the difference between us making the light or not!
Do you have rules? Send them over! Let’s do our part!
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