Surviving Weekly XXIII {8.29.18}

Wanna be Startin’ Something

I want to tell you that I was waiting for Michael Jackson’s birthday this week to send the newsletter because it seemed a little kismet.  You know the MTV Vanguard Award named after him, and the VMA’s happened recently where  JLo gave a monster performance and I can tie it all together. I could make it seem like I always planned to send the newsletter out on Wednesday this week.  But it would be a lie.  I may be a hot mess with a nasty coffee habit who barely washes her hair, but I’m no liar.

Full disclosure back to school is kicking my ass and I’ve had two sick kids.  This means that I haven’t had too much time to gather up some news, or write out a funny thought.  I think I’m bouncing back.  I’m trying anyway…  so bear with me here… (also relax Grammar police it is bear I googled it check it out HERE).

xx
Cristina

FORWARD THIS TO
ONE PERSON WHO MIGHT ENJOY IT

Happy Birthday, Michael Jackson

Today Michael Jackson would have been 60.  It’s been almost 10 years since his passing, and his influence is everywhere.

Mark Ronson did an AMAZING remix of some of Michael’s best songs.  Check it outHERE and remember why he will always be known as the greatest to ever do it.

Jenny From the Block goes Vanguard  

In what one can only call divine intervention, this last weekend was the MTV Video Awards.  This year the night’s biggest award, the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award was presented to none other than, Jennifer Lopez.

Little Vanguard Award History: it is presented at the MTV Video Music awards to music performers, recognizing accomplishments in music and film. The first Vanguard awards were presented in 1984 at the first ever VMA’s, and renamed in 1991 in honor of the late Michael Jackson. The award is also given to music video directors who have created some of the most acclaimed music videos aired by the network.  ClickHERE for a link to a list of past recipients.

I came to love JLo in her breakthrough performance in Selena.  That girl performed Como La Flor and I was hers forever.  For those who haven’t seen the movie, I don’t know what you are waiting for.  Jenny (I call her that now) did a tribute performance to Selena at the 2015 Billboard Awards which you can find HERE 

Her VMA Vanguard performance was nothing short of spectacular.  Obviously, she’s Jennifer F’ing Lopez.  She does nothing halfway, and I’m pretty sure figured out how to stop aging. You can catch the entire performance by clicking the picture or clickingHERE.

You can see her beautiful speech HERE

When will she tell me how I can get my husband to look at me the way Alex Rodriguez looks at her performing.  Seriously- husband how about a little ovation for me when I cook or write this awesome newsletter?

Random Findings From Around the Internet 

Eddie Murphy is gearing up to have his 10th baby.  That’s right… if you’re feeling overwhelmed right now just take that in.  So many questions right? There’s 5 different women including his first wife and HERE are a few more deets.   

Drake‘s biggest fan, Sofia Sanchez, just got a visit from her favorite artist.  But in even bigger more exciting news one week later she would be getting a new heart.  Check out the whole story HERE.

As mentioned above several times, the VMA‘s were last weekend.  Click HERE for a list of winners, and HERE for some of the fashion reviews.

Christina Aguilera is taking us back to the days where her and Britney were taking over the world.  In her recent Cosmopolitan interview she recalls how hard it was for her to be pitted against Brit Brit and labeled as the “bad girl”.   I never took a side here.  I loved you both equally, and so did Madonna…  Check out the article HERE.

ok maybe Madonna had a favorite.  But how much weight can we give Madonna now? She is a little crazy now and getting a ton of heat for her very bizarre Aretha tribute at the VMA’s.  You can find that HERE.


Can’t imagine why though? Seems so appropriate {please sense sarcasm}
TV Addict Update  
As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? Give me ideas people!
Have a suggestion? Let me know

Love Letters to All the Boys I’ve Loved:  I cannot say enough good things about this movie.  It leans chick flick, so sorry gentlemen.  However if you need a little escape from the troubles of work or from dodging that mom in the hallway, or from helping with homework, or just because you want to watch something happy.  Go see this movie.  It’s not too long and it’s a really adorable movie about a girl in high school who is shy and finds love.  Obviously there are letters involved.  Go!

Jack Ryan: Jim (John Krasinski) from the Office is back on TV in Amazon’s new show Jack Ryan. It’s a James Bourned sort of thing where there’s CIA and he’s a spy and chaos ensues.  I love Jim, so where he goes I follow. Check out the preview HERE Premiers this Friday, August 31 on Amazon.

Ozark: (Netflix) Back for it’s second season Ozark picks up just where the first one left us.  Marty Byrd is laundering money and Ozark is not exactly on my bucket list of places I want to visit. Check out the preview of what is coming HERE.  HERE is an article about the show, in case you were interested in catching up.

Vanguard:
1.  the foremost division or the front part of an army; advance guard; van.
2.  the forefront in any movement, field, activity, or the like.
3.  the leaders of any intellectual or political movement.
“there’s no such thing as an old living person people from thousands of years ago perhaps are old if you’re alive you’re young
A little extra JLO love on the late night circuit, because RESPECT people!
Don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got… JCo and JLo do carpool karoake.
Jimmy and Jen battle in who can make the sexiest dance moves

Surviving Weekly XXII {8.20.18}

Find Out What it Means to Me

Two of my three kids are officially back in school.  I know that for some moms, this is a little sad.  I know some moms find the rush of getting the kids to school stressful, and I can see that.  However this mom, this mom LOVES school.  Not just because my kids are occupied for an entire day by other people and I get to be alone.  Not just because I can work out at a time that is not the crack of dawn.  Not just because I can drink my coffee warm, and eat my entire breakfast without having to share it with a tiny person that I created.  But because of all of these reasons and more.

I am not sure when back to school got so expensive.  I remember when I was going to school, back to school shopping with my mom was much more exciting and definitely more fun.  As an adult I am starting to see it is because I wasn’t paying for it.

When you fund the back to school shopping it is actually overwhelming and you start to think of all of the nice things you could buy for yourself if you weren’t buying 12 hand sanitizers, 20 reams of paper, 36 composition notebooks and so on.

To be clear: I am not complaining about the teacher’s list.  Teachers- if you are reading this…. you are taking my kids for 8 hours every day.  Tell me what you need and I will climb to the top of the highest mountain to get it for you.  You want 6 purple glue sticks.. DONE! You want 4 packs of Ticonderoga Sharpened Pencils… CHECK! You need 4 Expo find dry erase markers… HERE are 12! I will get you whatever you want, girl! You’re teaching my kids!

But taking heat from your husband for back to school shopping at Target doesn’t even seem fair.  You spent that much because you actually had to buy all of those things.

My husband had promised my kids they could each have a toy at Target if they behaved for the week, and so when we went yesterday to make good on the promise I got a stern look and a “stay close and do not wander” order.  I don’t know what I could have done to merit such treatment.  If the man could have put a leash on me he would have.

I had tried to explain to him that this month was actually not my fault.  I tried to show him the lists and make my case, but I guess all those other times I blacked out and bought things like place holders for dinner parties we never have had earned his distrust.  Read my I Blacked Out Again… at Target article.

Until next week…
xx
Cristina

Koko, do you love me? 

This is not a new Drake song, but this story does have me a little in my feelings {you see what I did there}.  My husband and I were watching a comedy special [which I will tell you all about below], and the comic told the story of  Koko a rather famous gorilla that had learned to communicate with sign language.

The story really pulled at my heart strings, so I fell into a deep dark internet hole, and here’s what I got for you:

Koko and her caretaker/friend Francine Patterson, became rather famous years ago for their special friendship.  Francine taught Koko over 1,000 signs of modified American Sign Language- comparable to the vocabulary of a 3 year old child, and the two of them would communicate and complete lessons.  This is the most successful attempt to teach human language to animals in history.

Koko and Francine really rose to fame when Francine introduced Koko to a pet kitten which Koko named “All Ball”.  It is heart warming to watch this huge gorilla be so gentle and loving to a little kitty cat.  What really touched me was when Koko had to receive the news that All Ball had been hit by a car.  Koko communicated to Francine how sad and mad she was over it.  You would never expect a gorilla to care and love for a pet at all, but to see that they are capable of this level of deep connection was so moving.  It is enough to warm even my cold heart.  Watch a quick video HERE

You can see Koko’s full story by clicking the image below, and meet Michael, the silver back male gorilla they have also show to sign.  If you want to read an article from The Atlantic about little Koko Click HERE.

Around the Internet 

Aretha Franklin sadly passed away last Thursday, August 16 (same day as Elvis Presley) from advanced pancreatic cancer.   She was arguably one of the greatest songwriters and voices of our generation.  We all had that crazy aunt that had a spectacular dance to RESPECT.  May she RIP #queen For a link to an article and clip of her life click HERE.

 

Ariana Grande performed a moving tribute to Queen Aretha on Jimmy Fallon’s TonightShow by singing “Natural Woman”.  Check it out HERE.

In love with the Coco? Well don’t be, because apparently… Coconut oil is BAD for you!  Figuring out what is good for you and what is not has taken a turn for more complicated.  In THIS viral video, Karin Bichels, director of the Institute for Prevention and Tumor Epidemiology and professor at Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health, she says coconut oil is NOT healthy at all and is “pure poison“. For the article and link to video click HERE [her lecture is in German]

Alec Baldwin is all of us.  Alec Baldwin was on Instagram (probably a little too much) and came across a sexy picture his daughter had posted.  Naturally, he commented.

Calvin Harris and Sam Smith just released a new song, Promises.  You can catch thatHERE.

Since I am still on the back to school kick.  Catch this mom, who speaks only the truth while shopping at Target for supplies.  I’m with here God Bless the teachers– give them whatever they want! Click HERE.

Crazy Rich Asians is out and getting AMAZING reviews. For those who haven’t read the book, which is almost impossible to put down, click the image for the trailer.  Anyone want to invite for me to a girl’s night to watch? No? No one… sigh

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? 
To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before: [Netflix} I got a DM from a fellow TV addict I met on Instagram {I’m not a loser- I swear} who insisted I watch this immediately! I saw the preview last night which you can watch HERE and it looks so good! I’m abandoning Insatiable to watch something that seems way more up my alley.  Check my Instagram for my review or you can find it here next week. HERE is an article with a rave review about the Netflix Original movie..

Have a suggestion? Let me know! Or find me on IG and send me a DM

Bill Burr: Walk Your Way Out: {Netflix} I cried laughing during this special. It’s a little over an hour, and while there were moments I thought for sure I would become offended- I ended up laughing hysterically.  He taught me about Koko the gorilla, rants about McDonald’s, and draws a sports comparison to Hitler that you will not see coming.  Check the trailer HERE.

“operation try love take someone you don’t like and say something you like about them out loud
Nicki Minaj makes Stephen Colbert blush when she inserts him into her new song Barbie Dreams.Click the Image for the clip.
James Corden + Ariana Grandeperform an interpretative musical of Titanic that is a MUST SEE! Click the image for the clip. 

Surviving Weekly XXI {8.13.18}

To Show My Momma That I’m Not a Fool
I feel like I was just complaining to you guys that summer had started, and it seemed like it would never end.  Here we are one week to the start of a new school year- and I am ecstatic.  Who the F am I? 

One of my best friends is pregnant with her first child.  She texted me claiming to be in existential crises that she had just ate a carton of ice cream and got fake lashes and is wondering who the F she is! 

In that moment I had an epiphany.  Well calling it an epiphany is strong- but certainly a realization.  Being a mom, at least in my experience, is a series of who the F am I moments.  

Hear me out.  

First and most obvious, I have gone from loving the summer and never wanting it to end- to having a secret countdown on my phone for the first day of school, 6 more days for those wondering.  Who the F am I?

My husband and I just came back from a quick little getaway to attend my cousin’s wedding.  We were there three nights and before kids we definitely would have been day drinking, napping, heading to dinner, then  to drinking at a club, to late night eating to waking up in time to attend the wedding.  We would have been thrilled to learn that a DJ was playing in our lobby every night, and not in complete and utter dread.  The first night we were definitely asleep by 9 PM and we even found ourselves waking up to “work out”.  Who the F am I? 

I spend weekends at soccer games, I can’t remember the last time I bought a nice pair of heels, my pantry is filled with gold fish and fruit snacks, I bake banana bread, and can sing you any Disney song on demand.  Who the F am I? 

Back to my friend… after I explained how that would be the first of many an existential crises to come… I also explained how all these changes are maybe and probably for the better. 

I’m joking… while being a mom is a perpetual series of existential crisis and laundry.  I can definitely say it is the best kind and while you are tired and probably not as showered as you would like to be- you get more love than you could have hoped for. 

To the moms gearing up back to school- I will see you in Target!

xx
Cristina 

Standouts of the Week 
Want to feel old and out of touch? Well the Teen Choice Awards were last night and no surprise, Friends won best #throwback show.  Full list of winners HERE and HERE are some of the red carpet looks.

When you look at Adam Sandler, do you just think dreamboat.

Well would you be surprised to find out that he is one of Hollywood’s best kissers? Because he is… Brooklyn Decker just went on Watch What Happens Live and gave the scoop.  Catch the article HERE.

Ever wanted to learn how to roll a doobie? If you are anything like the people I recently had dinner with, you already know how.  Where was I in high school when the class less for joints was taking place? Because I am a believer in always continuing my learning journey, and solely in the name of knowledge, I googled a how to and stumbled uponSeth Rogen giving this tutorial.

GQ just came out with a Best Bars in America list that proves that we aren’t old like the Teen Choice Awards tries to make us feel, but a good bar is just cool again. ClickHERE for full list.

A mother’s love.  Pictures have gone viral of a Killer Whale who has been carrying around her dead calf on her head for 17 days. Full story HERE

Beyonce, she’s just like us.  Or at least almost seems like she could be part human inTHIS video posted by one of her best friends.  Also, what are fish lips? Are they the new duck lips?

TV Addict Update  
As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.  Here is an update on my whereabouts into TV land…

What’s on my list to watch next? 
Have a suggestion? Let me know

Insatiable: (Netflix) Netflix has been nudging me towards this show since it premiered.  I was hesitant, solely because it stars a girl from the Disney channel, and my theory on girls who star on the Disney channel is they go one of two ways: breakout to top taking slow transitional roles (think Selena Gomez and Hillary Duff), or do something provocative to prove they’re grown up (Bella Thorne).  This show is the latter.   I’m two episodes in, and I’m not loving it.  I have heard good things, so I’m going to journey on.  But it’s a dark comedy that is just a tad too dark for me.  Are you watching it? What do you think?

Bachelor in Paradise: it started last Tuesday! I’m sorry I don’t know how I missed it.  I will start watching it ASAP should I do a live Instagram story? Let me know!

Existential Crisis:
a moment at which an individual questions if their life has meaning, purpose, or value.[1] It may be commonly, but not necessarily, tied to depression or inevitably negative speculations on purpose in life (e.g., “if one day I will be forgotten, what is the point of all of my work?”). This issue of the meaning and purpose of human existence is a major focus of the philosophical tradition of existentialism.
“I was so happy when I saw Jimmy walk out in the Yeezys.  That was an olive branch.  He lead with love.  I appreciate Jimmy and his team.  You guys are Jedi’s.  much love.” 
Hip Hop turned 40 last week! In honor of the big 4-0 Jimmy Kimmel gave us Mean Tweets: Hip Hop Edition.
Seth Rogen is reading #dadtexts on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

Surviving Weekly XX {8.6.18}

Afternoon Delight 
The newsletter is coming in a little later than usual, but we made it!

Things were a little chaotic this weekend and trying to catch up!

But we have a roundup that should hold you over until next week for a big Back to School Roundup!

xx
Cristina

Anothony Bourdain 

It’s been about two months since celebrity chef, Anthony Bourdain, left us.  This week CNN confirmed that it will be airing his final seven episode season this Fall.

All but the last season had been filmed before his passing, and they are using the voices of cast, crew, and chefs that were interviewed to help narrate and fill the gaps.  The last episode, featuring Kenya, was the only one filmed after his death but will use his written narration.  Ann Entelis, VP at CNN told the L.A. Times, “They will have the full presence of Tony because you’ll see him, you’ll hear him, you’ll watch him.  That layer of his narration will be missing, but it will be replaced by other voices of people who are in the episodes.”

On this final season we will see places like Big Bend Texas, NYC’s Lower East Side, the Asturias region of Spain, and Indonesia.

 

Standouts of the Week 

 

Meghan Markle just turned 37! So many articles lately about all the royal protocol she has broken.  Yawn! In honor of her birthday can we just admire just how chic she is?

Lake Bell is also breaking mom “protocol”- she just came out HERE saying she wold take her weed vape pen to pinot noir any day of the week.  Her and hubby of three years are main investors of Beboe, a line of upscale THC and CBD blended products

Beyonce will be the first African American woman featured on the September issue of Vogue.

She gives an in depth article about life as a mother and performer.  Here is a snip:

“I was 218 pounds the day I gave birth to Rumi and Sir. I was swollen from toxemia and had been on bed rest for over a month. My health and my babies’ health were in danger, so I had an emergency C-section. We spent many weeks in the NICU. My husband was a soldier and such a strong support system for me. I am proud to have been a witness to his strength and evolution as a man, a best friend, and a father. I was in survival mode and did not grasp it all until months later. Today I have a connection to any parent who has been through such an experience. After the C-section, my core felt different. It had been major surgery. Some of your organs are shifted temporarily, and in rare cases, removed temporarily during delivery. I am not sure everyone understands that. I needed time to heal, to recover. During my recovery, I gave myself self-love and self-care, and I embraced being curvier. I accepted what my body wanted to be. After six months, I started preparing for Coachella. I became vegan temporarily, gave up coffee, alcohol, and all fruit drinks. But I was patient with myself and enjoyed my fuller curves. My kids and husband did, too.”

Full article click HERE.

Harper’s Bazar just released preview images from their September issue featuring musicIcons and their kids.  The feature includes Christina Aguilera, Lionel Richie, Mariah Carey, Bruce Springsteen, Kanye West, and more.  Here is a preview of Xtina and to see the rest click HERE or catch the issue out August 21.

Remember when you would watch The Jetson’s and think how far in the future it all seemed.  Well Rolls Royce is working on air taxis and while they are not the only company who is working on it, they are the farthest along.  Check out the fu ll articleHERE.

Alex Trebek is hinting at potential retirement from everyone’s favorite gameshow,Jeopardy, and hints to producers who he thinks should replace him.  Full story HERE.

More Drake news! In case you had finally gotten “Keke do you love me?” out of your head there is finally an official In My feelings video- click image to check it out

TV Addict Update  
As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? 
Have a suggestion? Let me know

The Sinner : Season 2 of this dark and twisted but totally addicting show premiered last week on USA.  Catch new episodes on Thursdays at 10 PM.  If you missed the first season it is available for your bingeful pleasure on Netflix.

Younger: Season 5 is heating up!! I got so many emails and messages on Instagram about this show…. ladies do yourself a favor and get on this stat!! You can find it on demand most likely depending on your carrier, if not the first four seasons are on HULU! I have never been more confident in a suggestion.

Nobody Cares


But the season finale is tonight, which I will obviously be watching….
My prediction is she goes with Garrett  to be completely and totally predictable.

Dilatory
1.  tending to delay or procrastinate; slow; tardy.
2.  intended to cause delay, gain time, or defer decision
“You can love people that you don’t want to go to lunch with everyday.”