Happy Easter

Have you ever wondered how the mystical Easter Bunny came to be? Why each and every Easter you find yourself scouring Target or Walgreens looking for plastic eggs and candy? As if our lives are not busy enough, we have to take these plastic eggs, break them apart, fill them with said candy, and somehow try to get them to snap back together again to hide around the yard? I asked myself these questions typically in a more vulgar way each and every Easter.   Then, one year, something happened and it led me to a rather strong theory.

I grew up Catholic.  What I mean when I say that is, I attended Catholic private school from 5 years old up until 18.  I went to church every Sunday, no questions asked. My grandfather is a Deacon at our church, and he and my grandmother attended Church every day when I was growing up.  He still does.

The Catholic Church had its rules, its beliefs, its stories and each day in class we were given an hour of religion to learn it all.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved it. Being an over achieving, type A, teacher’s pet- I ate this up. I learned all the Bible passages, recited all the prayers, and on holidays like Christmas and Easter I was the first one to put on the very puffy dress and run to mass.  I took everything the nuns, priests, teachers, and my grandfather said as concrete truth, and never ever questioned it. Would not have even thought to question it. It all happened. Facts.

So imagine my surprise as I was having a conversation with my oldest daughter, Blake, a couple of years back.  It was a typical weekday at this point in time they were 5, 4, and 2 ½ . Our house was in total disarray, toy bins were dumped over and no one was wearing pants.  I had just given the kids dinner and most of it was on the floor, and the rest was all over them. Naturally it was bath time. I wrestled the three of them into the bath and started to fill it with water and toys.  

Easter was coming, and the girls were so excited.  Blake especially was ready. She wanted to know all the plans for the weekend, because like a true competitor she wanted to plan her egg hunt strategy.  However the conversation took a strange turn.

“Mommy, why do we celebrate Easter.”

I had this answer down pact.  Walk in the park. I had basically been reciting this for most of my life.  I looked her right in the eyes and said, “Well baby, we are celebrating Jesus, rising from the dead.” {Nailed it.}

“What? Rising from the dead? What do you mean?” She asks so innocently.

“Yes baby.  A long time ago, no one believed Jesus was the son of God, and they killed him.  Then on the third day he rose from the dead and that is why we celebrate Easter.”

There was a long silence as she kind of just stared at me.  As an adult reciting this story, I do see how someone could have doubts about this.  But hey! That’s the story I had, so I gave it to her. I could see her brain working, and she said:

“So… Jesus is a zombie?”

BOOM!

My entire Catholic upbringing flashed before my eyes.  All the crucifixes. All the reading (and sometimes performing) of the Stations of the Cross.  Jesus is a zombie. Zombie Jesus. How did I never catch that? In all the years of hearing this story, how had I not seen it?

Then I brought myself back to my reality a tiny person staring up at me asking again.  “Mommy, is Jesus a zombie?”

I was now a parent of a child who was not in Catholic school (we can talk about this another time) and here she was barely out of Kindergarten questioning the story behind Easter.  What was I supposed to say?  Then it hit me. I looked right at my daughter and completely ignored the question and said, “Blake how excited are you for the egg hunt? Wow where are we going to look for eggs first?”

It all makes sense.  The whole egg hunt thing for Easter.  If parents put candy in plastic eggs and throw it around the backyard, the kids don’t have time to think about the story behind the holiday.  They definitely don’t have time to question it. They just take it as is and rejoice!

Jesus rose from the dead and now there are Kit Kats and Peeps everywhere.  Bravo to the parents who came before. The distraction method. Genius. Happy Easter!

 

SW 37: {4.13.19} 

Weekend Update

My family and I recently got back from a magical trip to Beaver Creek, CO.

I am not a girl who grew up skiing.  I am Miami born and raised, and most of our family vacations were tropical.  So when my husband and I went on our first ski trip two years ago, it should go without saying, that I was less than a “skilled skier”.  In fact it would not be completely inaccurate to say that I was terrible.  Our first instructor became so nervous and flustered attempting to teach me to ski, he called in sick the next day.

I guess watching someone lose control and go straight down a green (beginner) run, with no control, and no knowledge of how to stop- is hard for some people.

Well this time around, I did eventually catch the hang of of it.  By catch the hang of it, I mean I can very gingerly make it down the mountain without dying.

Now- I have filled you in on how limited I am on skis, let me tell you how my husband and the other “responsible” adults who were all aware of my deficiency set me up to fail on this trip.

My husband, three friends of ours, a ski instructor, 4 of our combined children, and myself all wanted to ski down an easy run together.  We had to split off to go on the chair lift.  Our girls wanted to go with my husband, and my son with me.  Since there are two kids with my husband, the ski instructor decides to ride with them.

Somehow all of these “skilled” skiers, these responsible adults, have left ME alone with my son.  I try to be cool and confidant. I mean of all the times I had fallen, I had never fallen on a ski lift. I can’t let my 5 year old son catch even a whiff of how insane I think everyone else is for leaving us, so I’m playing it cool as I watch them all get on the lift ahead of us.

There goes the chair in front of us, I say “Ok buddy time to start scooting, let’s go.” Only he had dropped something and didn’t scoot right along with me.  The ski lift guys swoop in and take Tristan out of the chair lift lane, breaking our hand hold, and somehow I am sitting on a chair alone with my son crying in this guy’s arms.

So I did what any warm blooded, anxiety filled, nervous spaz would do- I threw myself off the lift right before it began to go up.  My skis went flying, the lift came to a stop.  I looked over and the ski lift guys are not happy.  As I start to come to, I realize they are also yelling at me really loud.

“Ma’am you cannot do that! We would have sent him up with someone on the next lift. Are you crazy?!”

First of all, who the hell are they calling “ma’am” and secondly my son is not going up with anyone else.  I stood up, grabbed my son, grabbed my skis, and made eye contact with no one as I sat us on the lift. I looked back at the lift guys and just said, “carry on.”

And they did.  When we got to the other side of the lift, there were all the “responsible adults” laughing and whispering amongst themselves, “what did you do to make the lift come to a stop!?!” they ask.

xx
Cristina

Woodstock 

In a time where Fyre Festival is bringing a disastrous name to the music festival space, and being the first weekend of Coachella- I bring you word on the latest revamp of Woodstock.

In its 50th Anniversary, Woodstock is coming back to show us that not all music festivals end with cheese sandwiches and a port-o-potty wondering what JaRule did with all the money.  Even though looking at pictures of the original Woodstock, I’m not so sure the original hippies of Woodstock would have minded the Fyre Festival fiasco.

What made the original Woodstock so legendary?  Most of us were pretty young at that time.  I found THIS Buzzfeed article that helps bring it home.

With some pretty major headliners, this year’s Woodstock is looking to be pretty incredible.  Click HERE for an article on the headliners and what you can expect.

Shout out to Santana, The Grateful Dead and John Fogerty for being at the original Woodstock!

Tickets go on sale on April 22- check out the full website HERE.

Standouts of the Week 

Brace Yourselves. Coachella Is Coming. Yesterday was the first day of the California music festival.  Rumors are rampant that Ariana Grande is going to be bringing out some or all members of *N’SYNC (cue the gasp) at her set today.  To get all the details on who is performing click HERE. To watch and stream the performances click HERE.
Adele Is All of Us.  When Adele and her friends caught word that Beyonce was dropping a documentary (see below for all those details!), they reacted the way we all did.
Meghan Markle Breaks Instagram.  The royal couple broke tradition 10 days ago by joining the rest of the commoners/peasants on IG.  Check out @sussexroyalAnd The Award For Best Drama Goes to… The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  This is not a drill.  The story of Will Smith, Uncle Phil, DJ Jazzy Jeff and Jeffrey will be coming to a theatre near you as a….. DRAMA! Check out the trailer below, while simultaneously singing the theme song in your head.  Trust me.

I Want to be a Millenial.  I used to say that I was part of the millenial generation in shame.  Society’s view on millenialism (it’s a word go with it), has been harsh in the past.  But no more.  Apparently Millienials are figuring out how to YOLO and maybe we should all start taking notes.  HERE is how Millenials are redefining luxury, and HERE is how Millenials are figuring out moderation- which I have always heard is key.

Feeling Annoyed of Your Sibling Today? Imagine having 30 of them.  THIS lady did 23 and Me and went from being an only child to finding out she had 29 siblings out there from the same donor father.  This is why you I will always keep the anonymity box checked.  I have enough crazy family members in my life (dear family member, No! of course not you the other ones).

Dogs > People.  Click here for 14 Dogs From Around the Internet that will make you smile because it’s Friday and well, dogs.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next?  

Homecoming a Film by Beyonce: (Netflix) One year to the date of this epic headlining Coachellaget a complete behind the scenes look at everything Beyonce did to get ready to blow us away. Will air April 17 at 3 AM EST

The Perfect Date: (Netflix) Noah Centineo is back for another teen romcom of your dreams.  I have yet to see it, I am way too caught up with GOT BUT HERE is a review that says “it’s just fine” which is really all I need to know- I’m definitely going to watch it and love it.  Now playing! Click the picture for the trailer!

Game of Thrones: (HBO) TOMORROW! Sunday, April 14.  I found THIS amazing list featuring the must watch episodes in case you are feeling ambitious.  I know there’s a good amount of you who probably watched all 7 seasons to get prepped! God bless you!

Have a suggestion? Let me know

White Walkers:
mythological “creatures of ice and cold who, more than eight thousand years ago, came from the uttermost north.” They have the ability “to reanimate the dead as their servants, known as Wights.” A wight is also any “preternatural, unearthly, or uncanny creature.” The First Men were “the original human inhabitants of Westeros.”
James Corden hooks you up and recaps all of Game of Thrones in a 4 minute rap #yourewelcome
The King’s Council as played by Jimmy Fallon and company
#winterishere