Insert Confidence Here.

by Cristina | Last Updated: October 26, 2018

Confidence is a funny, funny thing.  I have to believe that even the most confident people we know are faking it some of the time.  I don’t believe there is anyone who is 100% confident in what they are doing all of the time- and if there is someone out there, I have to assume they’re an idiot.

A little over three weeks ago, I got a less than stellar review on my writing.  This is obviously not the first, as a few months ago one man emailed me to tell me how my blog was the “worse thing” he’s “ever read”,  and I know it will not be the last. However, reviews from strangers seem to sting a little less than when you hear criticism from someone you respect.  

This particular review came from a person that matters to me a great deal (please excuse me as I am in the midst of a deep Downton Abbey binge and I now speak like there is a little old Countess from 19th century Yorkshire living inside of me).  

I hold this person in very high regard and I value this person’s opinion more than most people I know.  This person has gone on to tell me that they didn’t like my newsletter, and didn’t find that I was very funny in it.  This hurt deeply.

Now don’t get me wrong here, I am acutely aware that I have flaws.  Many flaws. I see a therapist often enough to have a very long list of all the ways I come up short.  This review really struck a chord in me, and when it came time to write a newsletter the following week, I just couldn’t.

Each week I put a little piece of myself out into the universe, and I definitely do not expect everyone to like it.  Just as I don’t expect everyone I meet to think I’m irresistibly charming, just most people. I’m kidding {sort of}. So why has this review gotten so under my skin?

I write because I love it.  I write because sometimes I have so many thoughts that run through my mind if I don’t get them out I may malfunction.  Thoughts about the tiniest, and I mean minuscule details of my day- that if I don’t write some of these thoughts down, my brain may just overload.  

I write because I like to make light of things and find the funniest way to look at certain situations.  I think laughter does more for our soul than almost anything. Humor can make everyday things a little more fun.  Humor can bring a much needed moment of levity during tragedy or grant a moment of relief when things seem dark.  That small moment can be what helps get you through the day.

I like to make people laugh.  Life is tough. Sometimes we can work ourselves in a ball of stress over big or even little things.  Laughter grants us some perspective, and when you are parenting this perspective is crucial.

A few years ago, I was in the battle of a lifetime potty training our middle daughter, Dylan.  I had undressed my older daughter, Blake, and placed her in the bathtub and placed Dylan on the toilet seat to do #2 before putting her in the tub with her sister.  I was feeling proud of myself because experience had shown me this was wise if I didn’t want an another accident in the tub (I definitely had more accidents in the tub).   I gave instructions to Dylan that I would be right back as I had to go get our baby, Tristan from his playpen to join them. There I was humming along to Pharell’s “Happy” (that song was non-stop in my house at the time), in a jolly mood when suddenly I was stepping in something smushy.   Apparently Dylan had already done #2… in my hallway…. and I was now stepping in it. Literally. Stepping. In. SHIT. I was a living cliché.

If you cannot laugh at stepping in poop, barefoot, in the hallway of your home- you will not survive parenting my friend.  At least not with your sanity.

Any how, back to that person who slammed my newsletter.  Truthfully I was really angry with that person. I used this negative review as a legitimate reason not to write anymore. However, I was wrong.  My friend had an opinion, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

It got to me, because I have a raging insecurity and anxiety about my writing.  This review was my worst nightmare.  If my dear friend could not like my newsletter- what do other people think?  I couldn’t find the confidence to send another one out.  That’s on me.  I shouldn’t allow someone else’s opinion, good or bad, affect me to the point that I stop doing something I want to do.

I love to write. I hope other people love to read it, or even just like it when they’re bored at work or waiting for an appointment somewhere. Either way- whether people like it or not, I am going to keep doing it as much as I can.

I got these two negative reviews, and they pushed me to completely overlook the love and support from so many others.  Starting this blog and the newsletter have allowed me the chance to make new friendships and have so many hilarious conversations with people from all over.  A perk that I did not ever see coming.

Why is it that we tend to focus on the negative, when we are constantly surrounded by so much positive?  

I guess we can leave that for another day.

I am going to promise that I will try my best to not allow someone else’s opinion affect me this way again.