SW 37: {4.13.19} 

Weekend Update

My family and I recently got back from a magical trip to Beaver Creek, CO.

I am not a girl who grew up skiing.  I am Miami born and raised, and most of our family vacations were tropical.  So when my husband and I went on our first ski trip two years ago, it should go without saying, that I was less than a “skilled skier”.  In fact it would not be completely inaccurate to say that I was terrible.  Our first instructor became so nervous and flustered attempting to teach me to ski, he called in sick the next day.

I guess watching someone lose control and go straight down a green (beginner) run, with no control, and no knowledge of how to stop- is hard for some people.

Well this time around, I did eventually catch the hang of of it.  By catch the hang of it, I mean I can very gingerly make it down the mountain without dying.

Now- I have filled you in on how limited I am on skis, let me tell you how my husband and the other “responsible” adults who were all aware of my deficiency set me up to fail on this trip.

My husband, three friends of ours, a ski instructor, 4 of our combined children, and myself all wanted to ski down an easy run together.  We had to split off to go on the chair lift.  Our girls wanted to go with my husband, and my son with me.  Since there are two kids with my husband, the ski instructor decides to ride with them.

Somehow all of these “skilled” skiers, these responsible adults, have left ME alone with my son.  I try to be cool and confidant. I mean of all the times I had fallen, I had never fallen on a ski lift. I can’t let my 5 year old son catch even a whiff of how insane I think everyone else is for leaving us, so I’m playing it cool as I watch them all get on the lift ahead of us.

There goes the chair in front of us, I say “Ok buddy time to start scooting, let’s go.” Only he had dropped something and didn’t scoot right along with me.  The ski lift guys swoop in and take Tristan out of the chair lift lane, breaking our hand hold, and somehow I am sitting on a chair alone with my son crying in this guy’s arms.

So I did what any warm blooded, anxiety filled, nervous spaz would do- I threw myself off the lift right before it began to go up.  My skis went flying, the lift came to a stop.  I looked over and the ski lift guys are not happy.  As I start to come to, I realize they are also yelling at me really loud.

“Ma’am you cannot do that! We would have sent him up with someone on the next lift. Are you crazy?!”

First of all, who the hell are they calling “ma’am” and secondly my son is not going up with anyone else.  I stood up, grabbed my son, grabbed my skis, and made eye contact with no one as I sat us on the lift. I looked back at the lift guys and just said, “carry on.”

And they did.  When we got to the other side of the lift, there were all the “responsible adults” laughing and whispering amongst themselves, “what did you do to make the lift come to a stop!?!” they ask.

xx
Cristina

Woodstock 

In a time where Fyre Festival is bringing a disastrous name to the music festival space, and being the first weekend of Coachella- I bring you word on the latest revamp of Woodstock.

In its 50th Anniversary, Woodstock is coming back to show us that not all music festivals end with cheese sandwiches and a port-o-potty wondering what JaRule did with all the money.  Even though looking at pictures of the original Woodstock, I’m not so sure the original hippies of Woodstock would have minded the Fyre Festival fiasco.

What made the original Woodstock so legendary?  Most of us were pretty young at that time.  I found THIS Buzzfeed article that helps bring it home.

With some pretty major headliners, this year’s Woodstock is looking to be pretty incredible.  Click HERE for an article on the headliners and what you can expect.

Shout out to Santana, The Grateful Dead and John Fogerty for being at the original Woodstock!

Tickets go on sale on April 22- check out the full website HERE.

Standouts of the Week 

Brace Yourselves. Coachella Is Coming. Yesterday was the first day of the California music festival.  Rumors are rampant that Ariana Grande is going to be bringing out some or all members of *N’SYNC (cue the gasp) at her set today.  To get all the details on who is performing click HERE. To watch and stream the performances click HERE.
Adele Is All of Us.  When Adele and her friends caught word that Beyonce was dropping a documentary (see below for all those details!), they reacted the way we all did.
Meghan Markle Breaks Instagram.  The royal couple broke tradition 10 days ago by joining the rest of the commoners/peasants on IG.  Check out @sussexroyalAnd The Award For Best Drama Goes to… The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  This is not a drill.  The story of Will Smith, Uncle Phil, DJ Jazzy Jeff and Jeffrey will be coming to a theatre near you as a….. DRAMA! Check out the trailer below, while simultaneously singing the theme song in your head.  Trust me.

I Want to be a Millenial.  I used to say that I was part of the millenial generation in shame.  Society’s view on millenialism (it’s a word go with it), has been harsh in the past.  But no more.  Apparently Millienials are figuring out how to YOLO and maybe we should all start taking notes.  HERE is how Millenials are redefining luxury, and HERE is how Millenials are figuring out moderation- which I have always heard is key.

Feeling Annoyed of Your Sibling Today? Imagine having 30 of them.  THIS lady did 23 and Me and went from being an only child to finding out she had 29 siblings out there from the same donor father.  This is why you I will always keep the anonymity box checked.  I have enough crazy family members in my life (dear family member, No! of course not you the other ones).

Dogs > People.  Click here for 14 Dogs From Around the Internet that will make you smile because it’s Friday and well, dogs.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next?  

Homecoming a Film by Beyonce: (Netflix) One year to the date of this epic headlining Coachellaget a complete behind the scenes look at everything Beyonce did to get ready to blow us away. Will air April 17 at 3 AM EST

The Perfect Date: (Netflix) Noah Centineo is back for another teen romcom of your dreams.  I have yet to see it, I am way too caught up with GOT BUT HERE is a review that says “it’s just fine” which is really all I need to know- I’m definitely going to watch it and love it.  Now playing! Click the picture for the trailer!

Game of Thrones: (HBO) TOMORROW! Sunday, April 14.  I found THIS amazing list featuring the must watch episodes in case you are feeling ambitious.  I know there’s a good amount of you who probably watched all 7 seasons to get prepped! God bless you!

Have a suggestion? Let me know

White Walkers:
mythological “creatures of ice and cold who, more than eight thousand years ago, came from the uttermost north.” They have the ability “to reanimate the dead as their servants, known as Wights.” A wight is also any “preternatural, unearthly, or uncanny creature.” The First Men were “the original human inhabitants of Westeros.”
James Corden hooks you up and recaps all of Game of Thrones in a 4 minute rap #yourewelcome
The King’s Council as played by Jimmy Fallon and company
#winterishere

SW 34: {12.21.18} ‘Tis the Season

Bah Humbug

I have been busting my ass and my AMEX this last month to try and make Christmas perfect for my children.  However, here I am 4 days before D day and in full fledge panic mode.

Organizing who gets what, all the holiday shows, lists of what you should give and to who, and when to gift wrap- it’s all just too much.  I called my best friend today on the phone and we just screamed in unison. 

It’s hard enough to figure out exactly what to get them. Then you try to find all the best prices and get the toy before the “holiday rush” and you end up having to spend 3x on Amazon just to snag one.  Plus there is always that added bonus that your kid changes their mind and wants something new before Santa even arrives. 

Now I have an 8,6 and 5 year old.  I order the gifts early enough for the right price, but where am I hiding them?  Where does one hide the toys for three children without said children finding them.  Then you have to wrap them, but they can’t see the wrapping paper.  Because how could you be wrapping the gifts- doesn’t Santa do that? 

“Yes darling I just bought the paper to help.”

No one is buying this. 

You see where I am going with this.  This is exhausting.  I now look back at the day my dad told me there was no Santa in the name of “always telling the truth” and more to free himself and my  mother from the prison that is Santa. I get it, dad.  I think I’ve been subconsciously leaving hints the last two weeks.  I know what you’re thinking:

 
You may not be totally wrong about that.  But before you write me off as a mean old Grinch- really think about it.  We put our blood, sweat, and tears into making this holiday so special for our little monkeys.  Then you’re standing there waiting for a hug, and it never comes.  They don’t think YOU are awesome they think this magical man, this Santa guy is awesome.   What gives?! 

I know. I know.  The innocence.  The magic.  It’s incredible to watch them open the gifts and be so mystified by how it all happened.  Listen, I’m talking a big game but I’m on my 8th Christmas doing what I can to keep the magic alive.  

Which also does bring me to the big question, when is the jig up?  I thought for sure by 8 Blake would have had this all figured out.  That girl can crack the code on my phone, overhear private conversations between Bobby and I that I didn’t even realize she was around for, and can do multiplication.  Does she actually want me to believe that she still thinks some magical old man from the North Pole is delivering all these gifts to her and kids around the world.  This kid is playing me.  I know it.

Not to mention that our son is now in the phase that all our kids go through, in that he now believes he is Jewish.  He is really in the throws of confusion as he has asked for a yarmulke from Santa to wear to Shabbat. Never a dull moment.

Wish you and your families a very happy holiday season.  I linked some pretty funny holiday videos below, and will catch you in 2019.

xx
Cristina 

In The Spirit of Christmas

The creators of South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, actually got the chance to bring South Park to Comedy Central because of a Christmas short they made one year and sent to a few friends.  People thought it was so hilarious, that Comedy Central gave a green light for the show.

Wish you could see that clip? Well I got it! The clip is a little under 4 minutes- consider it my gift to you.

Click HERE or on the image to watch the first ever South Park Christmas Special and you can click HERE for the second because I love a good Santa vs Jesus fight.

More Hilarious Christmas Clips 

James Corden Won Christmas.  I promise you that you MUST watch this.  Guaranteed happiness. Click HERE or image.

Matt Damon hosted SNL over the weekend and they perfectly captured what Christmas is like for most of us. Click HERE or on the image it’s a MUST

Deck the Halls. Jimmy Fallon and Lin Manuel Miranda turn Cardi B and Migos songs into Christmas Carols.

It’s a Wonderful Life. SNL does what they do as they spoof a classic Christmas movie with “It’s a Wonderful Trump.” Click HERE or on the image.

Happy Xmas.  Miley Cyrus, Sean Ono Lennon, and Mark Ronson teamed up to sing Happy Xmas (War is Over), and it’s beautiful.

Jimmy Fallon, Horation Sanz, Chris Katan, Tracey Morgan all come together to recreate their SNL skit “I Wish it Was Christmas Today” and are joined by our Ari. Click HERE or the image

A Few Christmas Gifts from Me to You

Christmas Morning Breakfast.  My favorite part of Christmas is definitely my kids’ joy.  But my real is answer is definitely the food.  For anyone looking for some recipe inspo, I found some good ones HERE.

BLOCK ROBO CALLS. My Gift to You.  I’m nothing if not generous.  I am so sick of getting all these weird spammy phone calls on my cell.  I know that there is no privacy anymore but what happened to decency?!
Anyway there may be a way for you to block these calls.  Click HERE for an article which tells you step by step how to block all unwanted or unknown calls.

Lin Manuel Miranda, Emily Blunt and James Corden do 22 Musicals in 12 Minutes.  You’re Welcome. Click HERE

Grinch:
a person or thing that spoils or dampens the pleasure of others.
“visit Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden.”
December 10, 2019 1:51 P.M.

SW 33: I’ll Be There For You

SW 33: I’ll Be There For You

But It Will Cost You 

Some of you follow me on Instagram (ahem- all of you should follow me on IG), and if you do follow you may have caught some of my family’s trip to Disney.  Oh man just saying the word sets me off.  Disney…

All the moments of intense frustration are all rushing back to me…  Give me a minute.

want to be one of those people that loves Disney.  Right? I mean those people are seriously happy.  I don’t think I have ever met someone who loves Disney and isn’t a pure unequivocal optimist. Sigh. You see realists like me, ok fine, pessimists like me- we don’t do well in Disney.

For the love of God it’s so much happiness.  Everywhere you look is another perfectly manufactured way to bring joy to all those who pass by.  It’s so much smiling.  My face hurt at the end of the day from all the forced, and to my surprise, some genuine smiling.  Because yes- it’s absolutely impossible to bring your children to Disney World, see them light up with so much happiness that they are actually farting glitter, and not smile.

However- those moments to take in the smiles and the happiness are just that, moments.  You only get those moments after suffering at the merciless hands of the rest of your Disney experience. Cover your eyes, optimists. I’m about to get REAL.

They give you the opportunity to select 3 fast passes.  You can reserve them up to a month prior to your visit, and if you didn’t set an alarm for that you probably aren’t getting the most popular rides.  Where does that leave the rest of us, Disney? I’ll tell you where- in a line.

Just an 80 minute line for the Snow White Mine Train Rollercoaster.  “Mommy- please can we please ride the Snow White Rollercoaster?”  I want that smile, so I very begrudgingly say yes.  80 minutes, how bad can that be?  So. So. Bad.  Mostly because it turned into a 150 minute wait, but who is counting, Disney? Me.  I’m counting.

I’m not just counting the minutes, I’m counting the number of grown adults also standing in this 150 minute line to ride a Snow White Rollercoaster made for children 36″ and up.  I at least get that minute of joy from my children at the end of this- why are you here? There’s not even liquor in this park- let alone this line.  Save yourselves!

Even my daughter at one point had had enough.  We went to go to the bathroom and there was a line out the door and she looks at me, looks back at the whole line, and very angrily shouted “What?! Perfect there’s a line for the bathroom, this place is ridiculous.”  I was so proud at her for the perfectly delivered complaint laced with a tiny bit of sarcasm, but she should probably get used to lines at the bathroom (note to self prepare her for this).

Also- these rides are not made for families of 5.  What is up with that? One of us is always left out, and by one of us I obviously only mean my husband.

There we are, 150 minutes later at the front of this line, my new Everest, and it only seats two per row.  Our girls want to ride it together, our son wants to ride with me, and poor daddy all alone- left out.  Shame.

A 150 minute line of hell- for these couple minutes of pure joy

well for most of us

Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish friends!

We have so much going on this week… let’s get to it.

xx
Cristina

A Very Expensive Hanukkah Miracle   

Rumors were swirling on Monday that Friends would be leaving Netflix on January 1, 2019.  As you can imagine- Twitter was rampant with outrage and heartbreak.  I also like to imagine a lot of these were happening

Well the panic didn’t last long.  By the end of the day Netflix had assured us:


But can you guess how much Netflix paid to keep the show for one more year?  Guess… you will never guess.  $100 Million

That’s right.  Netflix paid $100 Million to keep the show and make all of their customers happy.  Tell me the last time any friend of yours made that kind of gesture to keep you smiling.   Also how happy is the cast to get that royalty check?

While I am also relieved they will be there for me through 2019 on Netflix, I don’t understand the freak out.   We could just watch Friends on literally every single channel on basic cable, because the show is ALWAYS on.  #justsaying #100millionlater

Standouts of the Week 

George H.W. Bush passed away on Friday, November 30.  Whether you agree with his politics or not I think we can agree he loyally served our country to the best of his ability.  This picture of his dog has gone viral, and another thing we can agree on is that dogs are awesome.  Click HERE for details on his funeral.


Are you like me? Do you just do whatever Oprah says?   Well there’s a whole new list of things you need to buy then. Oprah’s List of Her Favorite Things is Out! In case you wanted to get some good ideas for gifts this holiday season.  ClickHERE

What happens when 20 hyenas attack a lone lion? I suddenly totally respect the Lion Guard.  I digress- this video has gone viral watch what happens. Click HERE

The Bachelor is clearly going to be real sensitive about this whole virginity thing. Colton Underwood is out with his new promo for the Bachelor- and shout out to all the women who are lining up to be the one who shows a grown man how to have sex.  Show premiers January 7.

Lindsay Lohan or Disney Princess?  Lindsay on the cover of Paper and giving us her perspective on life (interesting), that really bizarre video she live streamed accusing refugees of child trafficking, and her new business.  But most importantly she will be starting in her own unscripted reality show called Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club airing on MTV on January 8, 2019.  I had quit most reality shows, however I may have to make an exception.  Catch the full article HERE or click the image.

Warning: Super Blood Moon and Total Eclipse to coincide coming January 2019- and sure to bring out all the crazy life has to offer.  Will warn you as it gets closer.  You can count on me.  Unless the moon messes with me- then I promise you nothing.  Full article HERE.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? Give me something!
Have a suggestion? Let me know

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: (Amazon Prime) Season 2 is here! Now streaming on Amazon Prime and so far it’s everything you love about the show.  It’s smart, hilarious and the costume and settings are out of this world.  Let me know what you think! Catch a preview HERE, and if you have never seen this show- ARE YOU LIVING UNDER A ROCK?

Dumplin: (Netflix) I haven’t been this excited to see something for a while (and this says a lot).  Starring one of our favorite friends, Jennifer Aniston, it’s the story of a mother daughter and Dolly Parton, and well just watch the preview.  Airs tomorrow, December 7 on Netflix!  HERE is a review for those who don’t fully trust me yet. Click the image for the trailer.

Misanthrope
a hater of human kind
a cynic
Jimmy and Margot play loaded questions, and we find out that Kate Hudson friend zoned Jimmy pretty hard back in the day.
Flashback to Jimmy Kimmel’s Friends reunion, because seems fitting this week

 

SW 32: You Hear That?

It’s The Sound of Money Dying

Black Friday, otherwise known as what in the F&%$ did I do.

At first these friendly emails started coming in promoting Black Friday sales,”Hey Cristina! We saw these shoes and thought of you, get them now 25% off”.

I thought to myself, “Wow this is early in the week.  It’s only Tuesday, but yea that sale sounds great.  Will have to check that out”.  I got caught up in the whole surviving Thanksgiving thing, so never really made it to shop.

By Thursday I felt like the stores were threatening me to go to their sites.  Multiple emails saying “Come shop these shoes now or you will never see your children again.”

Ok, maybe this is not verbatim, but it was definitely the underlying message behind the emails. My inbox was overflowing with multiple emails from stores I didn’t even know I had signed up for.

Somewhere between the turkey hangover and being a pushover there I was…. shopping.  I only had the weekend to buy ALL THE THINGS! They would never be on sale again.  It had to be this weekend.  I would get all my Christmas shopping done, get some winter clothes, and an Instant Pot.

I was on fire.  My AMEX would try to fraud alert, and I would assure them- it was me.  Not to worry.

Then it hit me- my husband.  I had to stop. I had gone too far.  I knew it, AMEX knew it, even the stores knew it.  When the packages started to arrive he was going to flip out!  I hit the confirm purchase on my last Black Friday purchase- and swore I was done.

I had a plan.  I would talk to my front desk make sure they trickled the packages out so it wouldn’t seem like so much.

I created my defense “but it’s for the kids- we don’t have any cold clothes we live in Miami- the Instant Pot does it all we can sautee, pressure cook and so much more!”

I knew this wasn’t going to work.  However I was done.  It wasn’t going to happen again.  The deals were gone.

Then it was Cyber Monday.  If you stop hearing from me, it’s because my husband smashed my laptop to stop me from myself.  He probably wasn’t wrong.  In fact- seems like a the fiscally responsible move.  Probably should have ordered a new on the incredible sale Apple was having {note to self for next year}.

Speaking of fiscally responsible- I’m breaking down a few stories going on this week.  I also laid on the sword and watched as many Netflix Christmas movies as possible to tell you which ones to go for and which to avoid.

See you next week (if my laptop and I survive).

xx
Cristina

How to Burn $2 Million: The Kim & Kanye Story

Kim and Kanye have managed to piss off A LOT of people, again with their latest Instagram post showing off their private charter of a Boeing 747.

You’re thinking- what is the big deal? Celebrities fly charters all the time.  Look- I get the charter thing privacy, comfort, convenience.  But let’s grab some perspective, shall we.  A Boeing 747 is a double decker plane that fits more than 600 passengers. Air Force One is a 747.

They were going to be on the plane for so long, Kim brought her trainer to be able to do a workout after they slept “10 hours”.  (I almost threw up in my mouth when I typed that).

The estimated cost to charter this plane is $200,000- $250,000 AN HOUR! So when you do the math, the Kardashian-West Family spent over $2 Million on one flight.

People feel that this makes their $500,000 donation to the California Wild Fires seem a little hypocritical blah blah blah. Climate impact, etc.. I hear all of it, but I’m not interested.  I want to play a different game:  I call it Things You can Buy for $2 Mil.

Small 1 Bedroom Apartment in NY with a nice view
16,000 pairs of Nikes
5,000 meals at Nobu
285,714 meals at McDonalds
2,500 Botox treatments (basically lifetime supply for you and your 10 best friends)
8 shares of Berkshire Hathaway Capital
Bugatti 
2,000,000 bananas
2,500 pairs of Jimmy Choos
400,000 gourmet donuts
2,000,000 Dunkin Donuts donuts
Over 16,000 Instant Pots
You and a friend could watch Drake in concert 6,000 times
Over 100 Birkin Bags
A private Beyonce concert maybe even with JayZ cameo
Maybe not Beyonce but definitely Kelly Clarkson or JLO
20,000 Christmas trees
This private island in St. Lucia
10-15 refurbished 1956 Jaguar Roadsters
Any helicopter you want

What would you do with the 2 Mil? Write me and let me know, I want to hear! Will post the funniest responses…

For the full article on the Kim-Kanye debacle click HERE

Standouts of the Week 

If you are on the fence about whether you should have a gender reveal party. THIS video has been released showing the Gender Reveal Party that literally sparked a fire in Arizona.  The fire burnt down over 47,000 acres and would cost over $8 Million in damages.
Elf on the Shelf.  I wish I was one of those people who liked bringing out. Giuseppe, our elf and having him get up to no good around the house.  Alas, I am not.  As if any of us needed one more thing to do.  Every year he comes later and later (oops).  Check out Funny or Die’s hilarious take on everyone’s favorite elf.

If I have inspired fiscal responsibility at all… I recently listened to Money Guru,Carmen Rita Wong, on the Latina to Latina Podcast hosted by Alicia Menendez (a must) and her tips on managing our money, which begins with us talking about it.  Loved her insight.  Would strongly recommend, follow link HERE.

Speaking of podcasts. I was just a guest on a new podcast called, The Joyful Hour, talking a little about my family history and what my life is like in this circus.  You can check it out HERE.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? My Brilliant Friend (HBO), a reliable source tells me it’s incredible!
Have a suggestion? Let me know

I took it upon myself to watch all I could of what Netflix had to offer in the Christmas romance category, so that I would be able to tell you all which ones are worth binging this holiday season. I even ranked them in order of cheesiness so you could find what might work for you and your tolerance for predictable romance.  No, no! Don’t thank me.  It was a labor of love, and also not as easy as it sounded… here’s what I got

Squander:
1: to spend extravagantly or foolishly DISSIPATEWASTE
ex: Kim and Kanye squandered a fortune

2to cause to disperse SCATTER

3to lose (something, such as an advantage or opportunity) through negligence or inaction

“I write this to you my brothers while still 53 million dollars in personal debt… please pray we overcome… this is my true heart”
– Kanye February, 2016
This week was a little slow so here are two #throwbacks for anyone who needs a solid laugh.
Jimmy and Rachel Brosnahan give us a preview of Season 2 of the Marvelous Miss Maisel (so excited!)
James Corden + Mark Wahlberg hit the gym together at 4 AM

SW 31: A Thanksgiving Survival Guide

SW 31: A Thanksgiving Survival Guide

Gobble Gobble

Thanksgiving is next Thursday.  Let that sink in… next Thursday.  As I mentioned last week, it feels like I am on this high speed treadmill that I cannot jump off of.

So today I bring you a fascinating riddle? What makes an incredibly fast, non-stop treadmill ride even better?

Drama! And something about the holidays just brings out everyone’s crazy freak flag.  

Suddenly everyone is competing for time. Demands are made.  I’m a 34 year old woman who is very nervous to answer any matriarchal phone calls around this time.

If you’re family dynamics are anything like mine, you have one side of the family that plans in advance (arguably too far), and the other side of the family that loves to throw a last minute plan.  

Both families feel they are in the right.  Arguments can be made they are.  Both families expect you to be there, on time, and ready to eat.  I hate disappointing anyone.  Particularly people who want to feed me.  So I try and figure it out…

“Oh no, we can’t do dinner at that time because we have this other obligation.”
“No that won’t work because your grandmother doesn’t want to be in the same room as so and so and you know how that is.”
“You spent Thanksgiving with them last year.”

For the love of GOD! Can’t we all just get along and eat some food?!

The way the chips have fallen for us this year it is looking like we have a 12 PM lunch, then a 2 PM lunch, and will also be cooking a turkey at my house because I am hosting another side of my family later at 5 PM.  There is no need to panic… Right? We can call it the Thanksgiving shimmy.

Oh you want me to bring a side dish to the 12 PM lunch? A desert to the 2 PM lunch.  Done and done!  I’m not freaking out- YOU are freaking out.

In all seriousness, I used to get so stressed out about this.  At one point in my husband and I’s history we used to do 4 Thanksgivings.  So really- 3 sounds kind of easy.  I got this! Watch me back it up. 

Whatever your family drama- or maybe you don’t deal with the family tug-o-war and have found a way to bring everyone together (I salute you), one thing remains- we could all use this day of food, family and gratitude.

I dedicated this newsletter to giving you a few of my favorite recipes, some tips for hosting your very own Thanksgiving and of course some internet gossip.

xx
Cristina 

I moved up the Late Night Roundup because the Migos and James Corden Carpool Karaoke is mandatory viewing! TRUST!
In the words of our beloved Neil Diamond, James Corden taking a ride with Migos in this week’s #carpoolkaraoke is “SO GOOD SO GOOD SO GOOD”
Jimmy Kimmel being woken up by male strippers on his birthday is a must watch! Some call it karma for torturing kids every year for adult amusement.

A Thanksgiving How To By: ME! 

I know what you’re thinking.  Who the F is this girl to be dishing out any advice about how to host at all, let alone Thanksgiving.  You aren’t totally wrong.  I would think that too if I were you.  You probably have yet to become privy to the fact that I love Thanksgiving.  I love it so intensely and most definitely in a way that totally crossed weird years ago.

I love hosting it.  It’s one of the only aspects in my life that I want to exert complete control over.   The reason I give to people for hosting, I love bringing families together.   The real reason: no house that we visited ever had all the food that I wanted to eat on Thanksgiving.  I look forward to this food all year.  As my best friend Selena says, “The heart want…

READ the full How To HERE

Standouts of the Week 

APRIL 2019. HBO has finally given us a Season Premier range of dates for Game of Thrones.  April 2019! And if you aren’t hype click HERE for the article and a video that will get you all Dothraki.
Also this is me preparing for Thanksgiving next week:

Pete Davidson is making apologies for his Weekend Update drama in the best way possible! He had Lt. Dan Crenshaw on and they mended the fence the only way SNL knows how…. humor!

The Greatest Showman Soundtrack was just revamped, or some would say Reimagined.  Pink, Kelly Clarkson, Zack Brown Band, Panic at the Disco and more bring a little extra to the already amazing soundtrack.  Check it out HERE on Spotify!

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

So here is where I break down for you what I’m watching and give you some ideas…

What’s on my list to watch next? I’m currently in the midst of watching all the Netflix Christmas movies to give you the best!
Have a suggestion for something I should watch? Let me know

I’ve been a little stale lately, keeping up with what I can, but Thanksgiving has been kicking my butt.  I did catch:

John Leguizamo’s Latin History for Morons: I went into this thinking it was going to be funny.  I hadn’t heard really anything about it.  I found after he had been performing this on Broadway, and felt ridiculous for being so out of the loop. Considering, I’m Latin.  It’s actually pretty serious content, with some moments of humor.  He does a really beautiful job of breaking down a subject that not many are familiar with.  You can tell he really studied and is passionate on the subject.  I am embarrassed to admit how much I learned.   There is so much history I was not aware of.  At the end I felt proud of my heritage.  More proud than I have felt in a long time, particularly with all the negative news cycles.  I recommend watching this most definitely, but know what you are getting into.  It was definitely a perspective shift for me.

Gluttonous:
tending to eat and drink excessively; voracious.
Thanksgiving didn’t become a national holiday until over 200 years later! Sarah Josepha Hale, the woman who actually wrote the classic song “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” convinced President Lincoln in 1863 to make Thanksgiving a national holiday, after writing letters for 17 years campaigning for this to happen.

God Bless, Abraham Lincoln

“We sang Backstreet Boys I want it that way”

SW 30: Election Day!

Vote for Pedro!!!

You want to know what October- December feels like for me? Well it feels like I jumped onto a treadmill to do some mild exercise and midway through someone started bumping up the speed on me and I cannot jump off.

You know exactly what I mean.  You have finally convinced yourself that running on the treadmill is a good idea.  So you begrudgingly jump on, and start out at a brisk jog somewhere around a 5.0.  You can do this all day.  Just play a little Beyonce and the time will fly by in no time.

Cue Halloween.  First it was getting three different Halloween costumes, plus figuring out what they can wear to school for the “character parade”.  Suddenly I’m bumped up to a 5.5 and we still need to take them trick or treating.

Alright we got this, 5.5 on the treadmill and we have survived Halloween.  I look at my calendar and see Thanksgiving is a week early this year- and I’m now on a hard run at 6.0.  I love Thanksgiving! It’s my absolute favorite holiday, so why does it feel like I’m now starting to sprint- who the F turned me up to a 7.0. Oh- I did.  I for whatever reason volunteered to make the turkey for not one but BOTH of my daughter’s classes.  Apparently I’m a masochist.

December 1 is my son’s 5th birthday- there’s the 7.5

Plus all these stores with their Christmas countdowns- are they trying to get me to go on anti-anxiety meds- because I will! I don’t need to know when there is 100 days to Christmas- I live with 3 tiny mutants who constantly remind me it’s coming. Now I’m sprinting on an 9.0 and I cannot get off.

On top of all this I am still somehow expected to continue to help my 1st grade daughter with her homework with both of our dignities in tact.  I must still be a good wife, daughter, sister and friend.  Plus I’m supposed to shower.

Remind me to never get on a treadmill again.  To all of you out there who are also sprinting- we got this.  One step at a time.

I rounded up some HILARIOUS videos about voting along with some other headlines to distract us for all this sprinting we are doing.

xx
Cristina

Rock the Vote 

Today is the day! The day that all of these really annoying commercials and attack ads will stop and let us be for about a month before campaigning starts for 2020.  Also ifNikki Minaj and Cardi B can call a truce… isn’t it about time we all just get along?

On a quick serious note, no matter which side you land on, I hope you vote today or found a time to early vote.  There are a lot of things happening right now, and we can’t afford to sit this one out.

Pete Davidson (you may know him as the guy who was engaged to Ariana Grande for a second) broke down some of the midterm candidates on SNL this week.  For anyone on the fence- this won’t help at all but it’s hilarious.

For any Democrats feeling like they got this in the bag or Republicans wanting to laugh check out THIS video or click the image below.

If you think Pete Davidson is as funny as I do- check him out HERE breaking down his thoughts after Kanye had that recent breakdown a couple weeks back.

Standouts of the Week 

Sexiest Man Alive. Praise be, Idris Elba has been named the Sexiest Man Alive. Check out the full article HERE.
All Hail, Jenny From the Mother F’ing Block. She’s turning 50 and looking better than ever.  Also she found a new green dress to spark controversy in. Check out her interview with Instyle HERE.

In the Shallow.  If you are still thinking about this movie (A Star is Born), as I would imagine most of you are- I have good news.  Now you too can achieve Bradley Cooper’s dirty cowboy look.  Click HERE to rock his look.

Did You Get The Shoe of The Season? Post Malone has released a collaboration with Crocs and before you judge- it sold out in 10 minutes. His AP ain’t the only thing goin’ Pyscho. Full story HERE.

Tell Me What You Want What You Really Really Want.  Spice Girls Reunion Tour has officially been announced.  All your favorite spices Sporty, Scary, Baby and Ginger have signed on, but don’t expect an appearance from Posh.  Before any of you get bent out of shape, I wouldn’t be eager to tour around and be away from Davide Beckham either #teamposh Full story HERE.


Meghan Markle is of course pregnant, and totally adorable.  So as a nice break in politics here is a picture of her just because.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? Making A Murderer 2 (thanks to Jenny Gonzalez for this rec)
Have a suggestion? Let me know

Homecoming: (Amazon Prime) Julia Robert’s new show is absolutely thrilling! The episodes are only 26 minutes which I absolutely love (remember I’m on a fast moving treadmill right now) and while I only just finished episode 4 it’s all I can think about. Definitely worth the watch.

The Nineties: (Netflix) A documentary about everything that made the 90’s great! The first two are about 90’s TV- so obviously I am bias when I tell you MUST WATCH!

Idiocracy
a form of government in which a country or territory is run by fools
My eyes are now wide open and now realize I’ve been used to spread messages I don’t believe in. I am distancing myself from politics and completely focusing on being creative !!!
Jimmy and Justin and Jessica, Oh MY! Who knows Justin best? #bff #hilarious #pineapple
Jimmy and Benedict Cumberbatch try not to laugh watching youtube clips

SW 29 {10.31.18} Oh Look Another Glorious Morning

Makes Me Sick! 

I haven’t sent a newsletter the last three weeks. Is it a coincidence that I’m back today, Halloween? Yes actually- complete coincidence.  I was never really one for Halloween.  I do love Hocus Pocus though.

The coincidence is still not lost on me, and then it hit me.  I am going to tell you why I haven’t written the last couple weeks using mostly Hocus Pocus GIFs because 1) It’s Halloween; 2) I love that movie; and 3) I have a talent for storytelling via GIF and want to show off:

Under this rough and rugged exterior- I’m a sensi.  That is, I am a sensitive person.

I asked my friend if they liked my newsletter and she replied:

It was

COLD!

That made me

Then I felt

She was like don’t be mad, calm down to which I said

Then I thought about it and realized…

and here we are…

Find the full story is HERE.  I wanted to say thank you to everyone who reached out when they read the story last week.  You really know how to make a girl feel

Pulled together some spooky stuff from all around the internet.  Will be back next week…

xx
Cristina

A Glimpse of Dracula’s Castle 

In the mountains of Transylvania sits this rather idyllic yet slightly gothic castle.  Bran Castle to be more precise.  Legends say that Vlad the Impaler was once a prisoner in the dungeon for a couple of days, but that’s probably bull shit.

Transylvania needed money, so they found the most haunted looking castle and advertised it as Dracula’s home- fast forward a few decades and tour companies now rent it out for Halloween parties with jello shots and DJ’s.  If God is good, they play Michael Jackson’s Thriller on repeat.

Check out the full article HERE.

Spooky Standouts 

What did the witch do with the paddle board? She paddle boarded obviously! Not just one either, hundreds of witches paddled down the Willamette River in Portland over the weekend.  Check it out HERE.

525,600 Minutes. Rent will be the next live musical airing on Fox.  Seems like they just announced their young new cast, and I just went from sort of interested to super excited.  Find the full article HERE.

Phantom of the Charity. To raise money for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, the CFDA and Bank of America have asked 30 American fashion brands to rethink the Phantom’s iconic mask. Read the full article HERE.

Ever wonder what Puff Daddy would look like if he were ever frightened? Apparently Ellen was wondering something similar when she had him on her show last week.  Luckily for us she did it live and we all got to see it.  Watch it HERE.

Can’t get enough? Watch HERE to see a montage of Ellen “boo” moments.

Jimmy Kimmel Made Me Do It. Don’t Forget to pretend to eat you kid’s candy and film the reaction and upload it to You Tube for Jimmy Kimmel. Or you can really eat their candy, and pretend it’s lost.  Really just depends on the type of parent you are I guess.  For full instructions click HERE.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.  Well while I was away not writing newsletters- I was still watching a ton of TV.  You would be proud to hear that I am three episodes away from finishing Downton Abbey.  Do not tell me how it ends…. 

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: (Netflix) This show is not what I was expecting.  For some reason I was thinking this show would be colorful and cheery- it is definitely, but most definitely not.  Don’t be like me- go in eyes wide open.  It is a dark and spooky.  I didn’t give it a chance, but it captured me at the end.  I like her.  I like her and was intrigued at the end by “the dark baptism”.  Since Stranger Things doesn’t seem to becoming for us any time soon, I would suggest this one.

A Discovery of Witches: Based on Deborah Harkness’ best-selling All Souls Trilogy we see the love between a vampire and a witch play out.  Who does not love a vampire love story? Particularly when that vampire is played by Matthew Goode. It has not premiered yet, and actually will not until January 2019 (I will let you know, TRUST). I want to get you properly hyped.  Check out the trailer HERE or click the image.

Premiering This Friday, November 2:

  • Homecoming : (Amazon Prime) Julia Roberts is starring on a TV show!  Only the biggest movie star, ever, on a TV show.  God bless you, Jeff Bezos.  Is there nothing you can’t do? Amazon’s newest thriller.  Click HERE for the trailer.      
  • House of Cards: (Netflix) Premiering it’s 6th and final season {without Kevin Spacey}.

What’s on my list to watch next? 
Have a suggestion? Let me know

Halloween Hangover:
Worst sugar crash you’ve ever experienced; Usually Happens the Morning after Halloween. It can be combined with alcohol.
Since its invention in 1898 by the Herman Goelitz Confectionary Company of Fairfield, California (now known as the Jelly Belly Candy Company), candy corn has become wildly popular — so much so that today, nearly 35 million pounds of the stuff is produced each year
My eyes are now wide open and now realize I’ve been used to spread messages I don’t believe in. I am distancing myself from politics and completely focusing on being creative !!!
John Krasinski pranks Jimmy Kimmel in a pretty epic way.
Jimmy Kimmel Halloween Candy Prank 2017 for some inspiration

SW 28: {10.1.18} It’s October!

Welcome to the Twilight Zone

I had an entire intro prepared for you today that got completely side tracked by a comment my father made at dinner last night.

We were discussing all the new pilots we watched that week {this should not be a surprise to you} and the conversation suddenly turned into the funniest sitcoms of all time.  I love a funniest sitcom of all time conversation! As you can imagine we threw out all the obvious contenders Friends, Modern Family, Lucy, Golden Girls, How I Met Your Mother, The Goldbergs, and maybe you have now started to notice that Seinfeld is not on this list.  Seinfeld is on EVERYONE’s top comedy list. Right?

Are you sitting down? My father has unequivocally declared that Seinfeld is not funny.  He even specifically calls out the Soup Nazi as the prime example for “boring”.  My father literally stood up, threw air quotes around “No soup for you” and said “that is absolutely not funny.”

The table gave a resounding “are you FORKING kidding me?” Someone even did an Elaine dancing.  The puffy shirt!

Who was this man? My father?

I was so disenchanted.  You have to understand my father is my first comedy hero.  He can make ANYONE laugh no matter the scenario- if he wants to.  A gift truly.  My father does not like Jerry Seinfeld and do not even get him started on Larry David.  His head almost exploded at the mere mention of Larry’s name.

How can one of my comic heroes, truly despise another one of my comic heroes?  Made me wonder.  If I brought Jerry to have dinner with my family would Jerry think my father was funny?

Then I moved onto a much funnier fantasy that involved locking my dad in a room with Larry David with a TV that only plays The Big Bang Theory (because obviously they both hate that one) and see who makes it out alive.

Seems like everything was absolutely bat shit crazy this last week.  I mean the news cycle was one delusional outlandish thing after the other.  Cover most of the craziest moments below, and included a few other things that give us hope and make us laugh.

xx
Cristina

Breast Cancer Awareness Month 

HOPEFUL NEWS

The aim of Breast Cancer Awareness Month is to raise as much awareness about breast cancer and funds to help people fight it.

In a very brave and beautiful way Serena Williams is helping raise awareness with a new campaign she did in collaboration with the I Touch Myself Project to remind women to put their health first.    She can be seen singing  “I Touch Myself” acapella and topless.  To help spread the word on the importance of women giving themselves a self-exam.

You can check out the Breast Cancer Network Australia

or you can visit the National Breast Cancer Foundation or Susan G. Komen to find out what to look for or make at home or make a donation in the fight against breast cancer.

Shit Was CRAZY this Last Week 

Anyone want a beer?  Too soon to joke? We can all agree that what is happening with the nomination for Supreme Court is disheartening and disturbing for many many reasons.

So thank God for Saturday Night Live.  It’s controversial obviously people are offended- but I think they really sort of nailed it. Click the image for the link.

Lindsay Lohan can Speak Russian and Arabic?  How do I know? So glad you asked! Lindsay was live on her Instagram when she found a family of Syrian (assumed) refugees sleeping on the ground.  Lindsay proceeded to harass this family for 10 minutes, ultimately accusing them of trafficking the children.  Boy was she wrong.  At around the 9:00 mark the mother of these boys literally punches Lindsay in the face. I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP. Find that HERE.

Love Yourself As Much As Kanye Loves Kanye. Kanye (let the record show he now wants you to refer to him as Ye, but I think it’s ridiculous and will not participate) was the musical guest o SNL over the weekend.  He brought on some of the cast and host, Adam Driver and then well… you can watch HERE The reason this is really striking the wrong cord with, well, everyone besides maybe Donald Trump, is he said the 13th Amendment should be abolished. Later on Twitter he said “amended” but you can see the problem…

I definitely need to increase how much I save monthly.     Elon Mosk stepping down as chairman of Tesla and had to pay a $20 million fine.  Full article HERE. How does one afford a $20 Million fine?!  #hottamale

Some Happy Thoughts

Anyone need a laugh? I know after this shit show I do. Well Buzzfeed is here to serve, here are 14 tweets from the weekend that are just funny. Click HERE.

Ina Garten is out with a new cookbook, Cook Like a Pro! If you don’t absolutely love Ina, it’s because you don’t know her well enough.  I won’t walk that back.  It’s true.  She’s wonderful.  Hugging her is on my bucket list.  Don’t believe me, HERE is a lovely article about her, and it’s lovely because obviously an article about her would have to be.

On a Scale of 1-10 Millie Bobby Brown is an 11.  Ok cheesy very obvious jokes aside, Millie, Millie Bobby (not sure what to call her) took the stage at a Maroon 5 in Nashville in place of our girl, Cardi Cardi, and Millie killed it! Check that HERE. Because any excuse to hear “Girls Like You.”

God Bless My Little Balls!  One of my most favorite Bestie x Besite episodes ever! Jenny Slate and Gabe Liedman try to come up with a new catch phrase.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next?  I need a new show! What do you got?!
Have a suggestion? Let me know

HERE is a good list c/o Thrillist of suggestions for things you can quickly binge on Netflix if you’re looking for a good binge post Jack Ryan.

Manifest: This show was my favorite pilot of the week.  I came in with high expectations because there was the comparison to Lost, BUT it had a good twist.  I’m intrigued and love the characters.  I would definitely recommend. (find on NBC and Hulu)

Single Parents: I thought there was no chance that Blair Waldorff could be funny- but I was so wrong.  It’s a sitcom comedy so everyone take it for what it is.  An easy 20 minutes with some decent jokes.  Also I’m just a sucker for Brad Garrett- everything he does is hysterical to me. (ABC and Hulu)

A Million Little Things: The life of a group of friends post one of their friends taking his life.  It’s just as sad as it sounds.  I feel like it’s ABC’s answer to This is Us only with an even more depressing plot if possible.  Look people liked this one, and there is something that happens in the Pilot that kind of traps you into the next one.  This show will either surprise everyone and be incredible or be the absolute biggest piece of shit ever. #tbd #stillgoingtowatch (ABC and Hulu)

New Amsterdam: People really loved this one.  The main character is the husband from Blacklist (totally adorable he just has that weird hot nerd vibe), and it’s a totally ideal premise.  There are so many cheesy turns in the Pilot that would normally make me hate it- but I didn’t.  I’m in for the next episode.  I don’t recommend it seriously, but if you are looking for a decent medical drama with major predictability- this is your jam.

Delusional:
characterized by or holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument, typically as a symptom of mental disorder.based on or having faulty judgment; mistaken.

the being formally known as Kanye West

I am YE

Late Night part happy and mind numbing and the other makes you want to bash your head through the wall. #america
Jimmy and Chrissy answer Loaded Questions and take shots to avoid giving answers #happy
John Oliver giving a synopsis of what happened this week
#twilightzone

SW XXVII {9.25.18} Sorry I’m Late

I Got Lost In the Back to School Activities/Play Dates/Tutoring/Something Navy Launch Shuffle

Do you smell that in the air? If you live in Miami it may just be the humidity BUT also it’s NEW TV!!!!!

I love Fall.  Fall usually brings cooler temps, sweaters, boots, and hot coffee.  While these insanely warm temperatures preclude most of what Fall was supposed to bring us it can’t ruin FALL TV!

I will be busy watching all week (you can see my must watch list below)…. plus trying really hard to manage the schedules of three kids who make more play dates and have more activities than most CEO’s.

When we were little did we boss around our parents this much?   Or were our parents just meaner/smarter than us, and said no? I can’t tell.  I’ve gone from mom to shuttle bus quick.

Anyway… I’ll keep this brief today we are discussing the art of an apology, the Hadids, Chrissy Tiegen, and how Fall TV brings out my best TV addict skills.

See you next week!

xx
Cristina

The Apology Police is Working Overtime

Ever been in an argument with your significant other where you know you are right? As you can imagine this happens to me often.  Our life in a nutshell: my husband and I are arguing- I’m right- and the time comes for him to apologize. 

I’ve always thought that my husband’s apologies were subpar.  I love him- I almost always forgive him- but mediocre apology at best.  He always defended his apologies saying I was not the apology police and that his “sorry” was just fine.

So imagine how ecstatic I was to find there is an actual Apology Critic.   Sorry Watch, founded by Susan McCArthy and Marjorie Ingall in 2012, is an entire site dedicated to breaking down public apologies. I obviously spent more than an appropriate amount of time on this site.   In a very smart and almost always hilarious way they condemn the shitty apologies but always issue praise when deserved.  

How it works? Remember a week or two ago when Revolve featured an image from an upcoming collaboration between Lena Dunham and a brand LPA {FIND THAT DRAMA HERE} where there was a practically perfect model wearing a sweatshirt that said “Fat is not beautiful it is an excuse.” Well LPA and Revolve issued apologies that were a little less than acceptable if you ask me- but you don’t have to they rated it HERE.

So what’a my takeaway here? In the event that I’m ever wrong again {unlikely} I will have a place to go and fine tune my apology skills.

For those wanting a short hand a couple of psychologists on Mind Tools would agree this is what you need to form a proper apology:
1- Express Remorse: “I’m Sorry”
2- Admit Responsibility: Empathize and take responsibility
3- Make Amends: take action make the situation right
4- Promise it Won’t Happen Again: or try to change behavior

It’s a full moon guys…. we could all probably improve our sorry game.

Standouts of the Week 

The Hadids Do Dinner. It’s the dinner party you can’t miss.  Gigi, Bella and their brother, Anwar have dinner with their mother, Yolanda in this AMAZING Beetlejiice parody.  Watch it HERE or click the image.

Chrissy Tiegen is Going to Hit a Bullseye! You see what I did there? Because she is coming out with a Target Line. The line is appropriately called, Cravings, after her best selling cookbook.  It has very pretty things to prep, cook and serve your guests.  Check out the entire line HERE and you can get shopping September 30!

Millenials Are Lovers! It would appear that Millenials are bringing the divorce rate down a whopping 18% from 2008 to 2016.  Apparently being “entitled” {I don’t call you that- society calls you that} also leads to being pickier about choice of partner which leads to less divorce.  Woohoo for love! Full article HERE.

LBJ is following Michael down the rabbit hole- literally! You get it- because Bugs Bunny has a rabbit hole and Lebron James will be starring with our favorite bunny in a remake of Space Jam.  This is not a drill. Catch the article HERE.

Like a Virgin. Ellen had the latest Bachelor, Colton, on last week and he met his first three ladies.  I’m trying really hard to be excited here ABC but you’re getting pretty BORING and PREDICTABLE.  You better hope this guy loses his flower on the season or we are looking at the three worst seasons in Bachelor history in a row.  But I will still watch- obviously.  Check it out for yourself HERE or click image below.

Just a Spoonful of Sugar! Mary Poppins is returning this Christmas and the trailer gave me the chills.  The Banks children are all grown up, and Mary is back to help them through a tough time.  It stars Emily Blunt, Lin Manuel Miranda, Meryl Streep, and Dick Van Dyke is even back with some moves.  Check the trailer HERE or click the image.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

We get all of our favorite shows back this week! Get the DVR’s ready This is Us, Grey’s Anatomy, How To Get Away with Murder, Modern Family, The Good Place and more are all back.  And….

It’s Pilot season! What I’m going to report on for next week or you can follow along on my Instagram StoriesManifest (aired yesterday NBC), A Million Little Things (ABC Wednesday 10 PM), Single Parents (ABC Wednesday 9:30), and MURPHY BROWN!

Yes Murphy Brown is back! You can catch it on CBS Thursdays at 9:30 and watch Murph in a world of 24 hour cable TV and “fake news”.  Come on- Murphy was one of the first hard working women that we got to see on TV- let’s give her some love.

Have a suggestion? Let me know

su·per·ca·li·fra·gil·is·tic·ex·pi·a·li·do·cious:
1: extraordinarily good; wonderful
I think I stand pigeon toed cause of Michael Jordan 😊

Surviving Weekly XXIII {8.29.18}

Wanna be Startin’ Something

I want to tell you that I was waiting for Michael Jackson’s birthday this week to send the newsletter because it seemed a little kismet.  You know the MTV Vanguard Award named after him, and the VMA’s happened recently where  JLo gave a monster performance and I can tie it all together. I could make it seem like I always planned to send the newsletter out on Wednesday this week.  But it would be a lie.  I may be a hot mess with a nasty coffee habit who barely washes her hair, but I’m no liar.

Full disclosure back to school is kicking my ass and I’ve had two sick kids.  This means that I haven’t had too much time to gather up some news, or write out a funny thought.  I think I’m bouncing back.  I’m trying anyway…  so bear with me here… (also relax Grammar police it is bear I googled it check it out HERE).

xx
Cristina

FORWARD THIS TO
ONE PERSON WHO MIGHT ENJOY IT

Happy Birthday, Michael Jackson

Today Michael Jackson would have been 60.  It’s been almost 10 years since his passing, and his influence is everywhere.

Mark Ronson did an AMAZING remix of some of Michael’s best songs.  Check it outHERE and remember why he will always be known as the greatest to ever do it.

Jenny From the Block goes Vanguard  

In what one can only call divine intervention, this last weekend was the MTV Video Awards.  This year the night’s biggest award, the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award was presented to none other than, Jennifer Lopez.

Little Vanguard Award History: it is presented at the MTV Video Music awards to music performers, recognizing accomplishments in music and film. The first Vanguard awards were presented in 1984 at the first ever VMA’s, and renamed in 1991 in honor of the late Michael Jackson. The award is also given to music video directors who have created some of the most acclaimed music videos aired by the network.  ClickHERE for a link to a list of past recipients.

I came to love JLo in her breakthrough performance in Selena.  That girl performed Como La Flor and I was hers forever.  For those who haven’t seen the movie, I don’t know what you are waiting for.  Jenny (I call her that now) did a tribute performance to Selena at the 2015 Billboard Awards which you can find HERE 

Her VMA Vanguard performance was nothing short of spectacular.  Obviously, she’s Jennifer F’ing Lopez.  She does nothing halfway, and I’m pretty sure figured out how to stop aging. You can catch the entire performance by clicking the picture or clickingHERE.

You can see her beautiful speech HERE

When will she tell me how I can get my husband to look at me the way Alex Rodriguez looks at her performing.  Seriously- husband how about a little ovation for me when I cook or write this awesome newsletter?

Random Findings From Around the Internet 

Eddie Murphy is gearing up to have his 10th baby.  That’s right… if you’re feeling overwhelmed right now just take that in.  So many questions right? There’s 5 different women including his first wife and HERE are a few more deets.   

Drake‘s biggest fan, Sofia Sanchez, just got a visit from her favorite artist.  But in even bigger more exciting news one week later she would be getting a new heart.  Check out the whole story HERE.

As mentioned above several times, the VMA‘s were last weekend.  Click HERE for a list of winners, and HERE for some of the fashion reviews.

Christina Aguilera is taking us back to the days where her and Britney were taking over the world.  In her recent Cosmopolitan interview she recalls how hard it was for her to be pitted against Brit Brit and labeled as the “bad girl”.   I never took a side here.  I loved you both equally, and so did Madonna…  Check out the article HERE.

ok maybe Madonna had a favorite.  But how much weight can we give Madonna now? She is a little crazy now and getting a ton of heat for her very bizarre Aretha tribute at the VMA’s.  You can find that HERE.


Can’t imagine why though? Seems so appropriate {please sense sarcasm}
TV Addict Update  
As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? Give me ideas people!
Have a suggestion? Let me know

Love Letters to All the Boys I’ve Loved:  I cannot say enough good things about this movie.  It leans chick flick, so sorry gentlemen.  However if you need a little escape from the troubles of work or from dodging that mom in the hallway, or from helping with homework, or just because you want to watch something happy.  Go see this movie.  It’s not too long and it’s a really adorable movie about a girl in high school who is shy and finds love.  Obviously there are letters involved.  Go!

Jack Ryan: Jim (John Krasinski) from the Office is back on TV in Amazon’s new show Jack Ryan. It’s a James Bourned sort of thing where there’s CIA and he’s a spy and chaos ensues.  I love Jim, so where he goes I follow. Check out the preview HERE Premiers this Friday, August 31 on Amazon.

Ozark: (Netflix) Back for it’s second season Ozark picks up just where the first one left us.  Marty Byrd is laundering money and Ozark is not exactly on my bucket list of places I want to visit. Check out the preview of what is coming HERE.  HERE is an article about the show, in case you were interested in catching up.

Vanguard:
1.  the foremost division or the front part of an army; advance guard; van.
2.  the forefront in any movement, field, activity, or the like.
3.  the leaders of any intellectual or political movement.
“there’s no such thing as an old living person people from thousands of years ago perhaps are old if you’re alive you’re young
A little extra JLO love on the late night circuit, because RESPECT people!
Don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got… JCo and JLo do carpool karoake.
Jimmy and Jen battle in who can make the sexiest dance moves