Surviving Weekly 38 {7.19.19}

Ole From Spain
It has been more than a while since I’ve sent out a newsletter.  There was so much going on between end of the year and a few projects I have been working on.  I have missed you all.  

One of the bigger things going on was preparing for our big summer trip to Spain.  My husband and I had always talked about living in another city for a while, and we finally decided this was the summer to do it.  So I am currently writing to you with my hair blowed out, in a cute little dress, in an adorable little coffee shop in Madrid as I sip on espresso and eat tapas.  I’m kidding.  I’m just in Spain- nothing else has changed.  I’m wearing workout clothes, drinking coffee from a mug and my hair is a bun.  

We have been here for two weeks, and been through it all:Jet Lag Stomach BugsTantrumsOne child didn’t like something at a restaurant and threw up, on her plate, (we obviously had to leave a ridiculous tip)One child farted so loud and big that he showed me Sharts are a real thing
It doesn’t matter the continent- raising kids is always fun.  We even had an unexpected birds and bees conversation yesterday in the park which you can find on my Instagram Story.  

In all seriousness, it’s been amazing to be here.  My husband and I had never been to Madrid.  Being able to come for this amount of time, and share it with our kids has been nothing short of magical.  

I have gotten a few questions about the who, what, how of this entire trip.  I have answered most of the questions HERE on the blog. 

However there is plenty to get to below including Mariah Carey and Meth Gators. 

Thank you for sticking around and reading! 

xx
Cristina 

In My Feelings 

This summer’s internet challenges are kind of, hmmm how do I say this? SO LAME! Are we out of ideas?  Last summer we at least were able to watch everyone do catchy dance moves.  This summer we have people kicking off bottle caps and aging themselves with an app.    

What am  I talking about?
Bottle Cap Challenge: I admit I was intrigued briefly when I first I saw John Mayer sloppily kick a bottle cap off a bottle on Instagram, but he’s kind of out there and clearly still drinking vodka out of a plastic bottle (which I am super judging).  Then Kendall Jenner did it and the internet exploded: 

How it Started: Apparently Farabi Davletchin, a taekwondo instructor, posted a video on Instagram doing the move and challenged Connor McGregor (MMA champ) Jason Statham and Jackie Chen.  Unfortunately for all of us Jackie Chen has not responded.  Here is the original video: 

That was it.  You see? Underwhelming.  One is supposed to do a slow-mo video of themselves kicking a bottle cap off a bottle.  It has led to some mildly entertaining content.  Check out some of my favorites: Blake Shelton, Ryan Reynolds and Mariah Carey

Speaking of Mariah Carey we are moving onto…
Face App Challenge is having our feeds filled with our friends, influencers, and celebrities alike showing us how they will look when they age.  

I’m not particularly vain, but why is this a thing? Not just that, you want to see yourself at around 85 I can almost understand it BUT why share it?  How does this involve Mariah you may be wondering? 

Yes Mimi!! Check out other celebrities and see MImi break it down again HERE.

Forget the notion that over 100 million people sharing their aging faces is kind of weird there are actual security concerns. 

Forbes reported that because of this challenge Face Tune App (which is a Russian company) has collected over 150 million different faces, which may actually prove to be dangerous for your security.  As the app does have permission to access other photos and even your location.  A way to protect yourself is to change permissions, either delete the app, or go to app settings on your iPhone or Android and change what data tools are allowed to access.  Click HERE for the article. 

So I will end where I started, can we please bring back simple challenges like dancing on the street or dumping iced buckets over our heads?  Or if we are going to face tune ourselves can we do it in reverse? Ain’t nobody got time to be seeing my face covered in wrinkles. I pay a lot of money to make that impossible. 

Standouts of the Week 

Emmy Nominations were announced this week, and Game of Thrones was the leader with 32 nominations including one for Kit Harrington for Best Lead Actor.  Shout out to Moira Rose for her first Emmy Nomination for Schitt’s Creek (see TV Addict update) Full list of nominations HERE.  Anyone want to invite me over to watch?

Summer Movies It may be hard to believe, but there are other movies coming out this summer besides the live action remake of The Lion King.  I found this list from Polygon that breaks it all down along with release dates.  Check it out HERE.

But While we are Talking About the Lion King… Can we talk about Beyonce and Blue Ivy at the premiers?! See it HERE– I want to say it’s so adorable but with that many diamonds adorable just doesn’t seem appropriate. 

Beyonce has clearly been the big draw on this movie- I mean I just heard her and Donald Glover sing “Can you Feel the Love Tonight” and I was covered in goosebumps (catch a glimpse of that HERE).  Say what you want but Queen B is life. 

Don’t believe me? Watch Seth Rogan explain it to Jimmy Kimmel HERE right around the 2:35 mark- the woman gets an ovation for being alive. That entire interview is also pretty hilarious (BTW).  I leave you with Beyonce’s new Spirit video, which she made with Blue, and is inspired by Africa. 

In Case You Were Sleeping Well At Night, I Bring you Meth Gators! I am not sure why this has to be said, but stop flushing your Meth down the toilet as the gators are going to get it.  I feel that is is always implied however, nothing surprises me anymore.  Check it out HERE.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.  Here in Spain, it’s been a little more difficult for me to live up to my TV Addict reputation.  I’m working on cracking my VPN in the mean time,

What’s on my list to watch next?  The Hills Reboot- judge away but the second I touch back on US soil- it’s on.
Have a suggestion? Let me know

Fleabag – (Amazon Prime) It’s on Season 2 and comes highly recommended by most trusted TV source who would like to remain anonymous (for now).  About a lady who just can’t seem to get her life together.  I heard season 1 was a little slow but Season 2 picks up big time.  

Schitt’s Creek: I don’t know where I had been.  Moira Rose is my spirit animal and I can listen to Alexis tell stories about how she had been tied up and kidnapped by a Saudi Prince all day.  You all tried to tell me and I didn’t listen- and for that I am sorry. When I’m wrong- I say it, and I was wrong.  This show is so funny and I would absolutely suggest you RUN to go catch up on Netflix.  

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee:  Back for its 11th Season today!, Jerry Seinfeld is riding with Eddie Murphy, Seth Rogan, Jamie Foxx and more.  I wouldn’t say go back and watch every single episode of this series (but you could and you would love it) just pick your favorite comedians if you want, and it’s just so light and hilarious at times.  Great for a pick me up. 

More Summer TV: Orange is the New Black (July 26 Netflix), Stranger Things (Season 3 is out on Netflix), Younger (Season 6, TV Land),  Big Little Lies (Season 2 just finished HBO), When They See Us (Netflix), and Veronica Mars is back! (July 26 Hulu)

What If (Netflix) The Plot Twist From Hell

Nutshell: Netlfix.  1 Hour Episodes.  Drama.  Holy Renee Zellweger.  Don’t recommend to all or most.

This show had all the right parts.  A frozen faced Renee Wellger, a hot dude, a likable main actress and a seemingly sexy plot.  For those who didn’t catch the preview that Netflix was literally shoving down your throat, it’s about a rich powerful woman, Anne (Renee), offering an ungodly amount of money for one night with Lisa’s husband, Sean (token hot guy).

If it all sounds familiar, it’s because it does.  We have all seen how this plays out, because we all saw Indecent Proposal.  However there was an unexpected twist- that honestly flopped.  It’s not worth watching the entire season to get to it.  However if you’re like me, you will anyway.  It has that right amount of drama and trashy intrigue that is hard to resist.  You were warned.

Starring: Renee Zellweger, Jane Levy, Blake Jenner

Trailer: Click HERE

 

SW 36: Have Mercy {3.19.19}

SW 36: Have Mercy {3.19.19}

 Becoming That Mom 

Becoming a mom is a funny thing.  I always wanted to be a mom.  I had ideas about what my career would be, but I knew without a doubt that I was going to be a mom.  I also knew without a doubt that I would be the best mom, obviously.  I had the entire mom thing planned out and down to a science.  I was going to ROCK and it was going to be so easy.

I was going to have three kids, all boys.  I was never going to have a minivan.  I was never going to feed my babies store bought food.  I was going to always have my kids well dressed.  I was always going to be patient and understanding.  I was never going to be the mom who yelled.  I was never going to be the mom whose child was screaming at a restaurant or had a tantrum at the market.

You get where I am going here….  In my 20 something naive mind- besides not being able to control the gender of your child you are also definitely not able to control what kind of mom you become. Also I practically begged my husband for a minivan- and almost exclusively bought store bought food.


In the latest installment of “the mom I thought I would never become”- my daughter joined a traveling soccer team.

I’m two years in, and have started to notice a common thread in all of her videos when I watch them back.  It’s my voice.  It’s my voice yelling.  It’s my voice yelling A LOT.  I am not only “that” mom- I am THAT MOM.

But I love it {another surprise}.  My daughter wishes I would take it down about 15 notches, but one day when she has a kid of her own she will know- it isn’t possible.  There is no bringing it down notches.

However I was humbled this weekend.  As I was filming her shoot a penalty kick, I got a little too excited and I completely fell face first.  In being nothing if not open and authentic, I just posted it on my Instagram.  Enjoy!

xx
Cristina

Aunt Becky- Have Mercy!


The ongoing college admissions scandal, for those who still don’t know, involves the arrest of 50 people total including Lori Loughlin, her husband Mossimo Giannulli, Felicity Huffman, 33 other parents,  9 coaches, and other administrators and test takers across the country.  William Singer- the ringleader would take money from parents across the nation to sneak their kids in through the “side door” of universities. Since 2011 Singer has reportedly earned $25 Million running the scheme.

For those wondering who else besides Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman are involved HERE is an article filing you in on who else has been arrested in this fraud.

The jokes are rampant, the memes are amazing:

*if you do not understand this meme go watch Netflix FYRE Documentary- I mean what else have you been doing?

Other celebrities are jumping in and taking some jabs:

But these parents have one major defender in their corner.  Meet “Billa” otherwise known as Malcom Abbot, whose father and mother have been charged for paying Singer (the standardized test taker) to help one of their daughters get into college.  Billa, very proudly defended his parents before promoting his upcoming album “Cheese and Crackers”.  I can’t make this shit up.  Read the whole articleHERE.

In the end, Operation Varsity Blues, as it was called by the FBI was worked on for about 10 months, used over 200 agents across 6 states.

This article gives an excellent breakdown. Click HERE and The New York Times has a great break down HERE.

My Internet Rabbit Hole 

Pete Davidson has gotten himself into a pickle again.  He compared being a Catholic to being an R. Kelly fan on SNL Weekend Update, and the Catholic Church is not having it.  Growing up a Catholic, I have to just chime in and say to the Catholic Church- REALLY?! I know no one wants to be in the same category as R. Kelly BUT you may just have to take that jab on the chin and keep looking down.

Either way something tells me, these days, he does NOT care at all about what most people think about him… (I only posted this picture because Antoni gives me life). Find the article HERE

I’m Burning Up.  I realize I am a 35 year old adult, but is it just me or is that new Jonas Brothers Song, “Sucker” catchy AF?  I don’t know why I felt any shame- I’m going to just say it right now I’m a Jonas Fan #takethat, I just can’t stop listening and you won’t be able to either.  Check it out HERE

*** But if you want to jump into a serious Jonas Rabbit Hole
HERE they are are on Spill Your Guts/Fill Your Guts on James Corden and HERE is Carpool Karaoke

My New Favorite Instagram Follow! Pivot! Pivot! Courtney Cox just joined Instagram and is quickly becoming my favorite follow.  I’m a nostalgic fool when it comes to Friends, and her references are OH MY GOD.  Check out her page HERE.

A Whole New Aladdin.  The new live action Aladdin was not going to be good.  I was convinced.  How could it possibly be good, when Will Smith looks like that? I was so wrong, because if the movie is anything like the trailer- I may actually make it through one of these movies without having taken a mini nap or 4. Check it out HERE.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? Velvet- have you seen it? Is Don Alberto everything I have heard he is?
Have a suggestion? Let me know

Lots to discuss today!
GOT: April 14! Guys we 26 are days away.  Are we even ready for the final 6 episodes? Is there any prep we should all be doing? People are rewatching the entire series? Should I be doing that? Are you doing that? Other people are telling me about all these GOT Podcasts (HERE is a solid top 5 list). For those who haven’t seen it check out the trailer HERE:

Pen 15: (Hulu) I LOVE this show! The episodes are 25 minutes and it is a hilarious take on two nerdy girls trying to survive 7th grade in the year 2000- I’m talking landlines and hand written notes. Check out the trailer HERE.

Billions: (Showtime) Season 4 just premiered on Showtime this past Sunday. If you aren’t caught up- it’s on my must watch for sure.  Love me some Nick Brody mixed with Paul Giammatti and Tara Knowles for good measure.  If you need help with these references I am happy to give you a course in useless TV knowledge.

Queer Eye: (Netflix) Season 3 of of the Fab 5 is back and I’ve only ugly cried through 2 episodes out of 4 so far.  These 5 men bring so much joy everywhere there go.  After Leaving Neverland and all the other darkness I’ve been catching- this show is a breath of much needed fresh air and love.

Paradoxical
seemingly absurd or self-contradictory.

Stephen Colbert tries to guess how GOT ends and John Snow has a cold dead heart doesn’t even give us an inch.
In case you needed more evidence that British people are far and away more polite than Americans- check out David Beckham keeping his cool during this prank.

SW 35: Happy New Year!

SW 35: Happy New Year! {2.26.18}

Happy 2019! I realize it is [the end of] February.  I know we aren’t exactly saying that to people on the street anymore, but it’s the first time we’ve spoken this year so it seemed appropriate.

So what’s been going on with me? Here is the quick nutshell version.  Kids went back to school.  I have yet to forget a pick up time or place, but  to be clear this has only happened once and it was last semester and we will discuss this at another time.

Let’s see I turned 35 earlier this month, and was what some would call a shit show.  By some I mean all my friends and family, and by shit show I mean I cried spontaneously, was overly sensitive and impossible to please.

What else? Oh my husband started Whole 30 and invited me to come along.  I’m kidding.  He would never do that because he knows one week in I would be Miranda Lambert throwing my salad at a poor passerby.

I did however decide to join a “fitness challenge” at my gym that requires me to go 19 out of 30 days.  I’m currently on day 8 and have serious plans on skipping tomorrow.

As you can see things are as about as exciting as ever!

Picked a few good headlines from the year… will be back soon.

xx
Cristina

An Oscar’s Breakdown  

And the Host Is.  No one.  Last night for the first time since 1989 (apparently that was a train wreck click HERE) there was no host at the Oscars.

The Oscars.  If I am being super honest- I didn’t watch.  I fell asleep.  I had already seen all the dresses (JLo being my favorite obviously), and had a sneaking suspicion the Bradley Gaga love fest was not going to play until the end.  So I did what all red blooded millenials do- I googled all the good stuff this morning.  Here is the breakdown I have for you {in order of importance}:

Gaga and Bradley Sitting in a Tree: The duo really delivered in the performance that has the entire world on FIRE.  Everyone is talking about.  Did they almost kiss at the end? Maybe! One thing is for sure, if Bradley’s baby momma, Irina, was Latin, Gaga would no longer be with us.  At least in Cuban women, the jealous rage is real. #facts Check out the performance HERE.

The Fashion: There were so many different looks.  I went through most of the lists, Harper’s Bazaar pretty much nailed it with their Top 10 click HERE

but in case you want to see a few of the other looks from last night here is People’s,Vogue, and E!.

Vanity Fair After Party Fashion: Because the after party fashion is kind of more important than who won the show.  Check out the Vanity Fair Red Carpet Arrivals HERE.

The Winners: Full List HERE

Chrissy Tiegen is a Godess: as usual- in my favorite moment of the entire night, Chrissy Tiegen pushes John Legend out of the photo.  Check out the hilarious momentHERE.

Standouts of the Year So Far 

We Didn’t Start the Fyre.  This year started off with a big buzz around the Fyre Festival or AKA the #FyreFraud. I mean look at these two guys.  How could this have happened?  What could go wrong when you have Ja Rule and some guy named Billy MacFarland in charge?
                   Tale of the Dueling Documentaries.  If you have yet to see one of the dueling documentaries that were put out by Netflix or Hulu about the personified mayhem that occurred in the months leading up to #FyreFraud- it is definitely worth your time.

Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened, the Netflix Documentary does a good job of cataloguing and setting a timeline for how and when things started to go very wrong.  They also shed light on the Bahamian workers, and other staffers, who arguably lost the most in this fraud.
Particularly this guy.  I would tell you what this guy was willing to do to save the Fyre Festival but some people may report me as spammy content.  See for yourself.  Trust.

Fyre Fraud: A Hulu Documentary does a good job in filling in the theory as to how this kind of fraud could be so successful.  They analyze the power of influencers and social media on this generation.  More importantly they also let you know how much Jerry Media (the producers of the Netflix documentary) had to do with the viral promotion of the festival.  They break down how this insane social media induced ponzi scheme played out, and have an exclusive (BUT paid for) interview with Billy MacFarland.

The Ultimate Fab 5 Performance.  Jonathan, Bobby, Karomo, Tan and Antoni went onto Lipsync Battle and magic ensued.  There was a Britney tribute and a Beyonce tribute that will bring nothing but unadulterated joy.  Click HERE

The Marie Kondo Effect.  Thrift stores can actually no longer take us sparking joy.  Since Netflix released the organizing series, Goodwill reported a 42% increase in donations.  Check out the article HERE.

I Don’t Want No Scrubs.  Is Weezer making all of our dreams come true, again, with another cover?! The answer is YES! They have gone and remade arguably TLC’s greatest hit and it’s obviously amazing!

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? Russian Doll (Netflix) just caught the first episode, and it’s dark and twisty and really smart.  Natasha Lyonne is one of my favorites.  Will report back soon.
Have a suggestion? Let me know

Abducted in Plain Sight: (Netflix) I watched this documentary over the weekend, and the story just keeps replaying in my mind.  I have started to take a deep dive to write a post about it, because it leaves you asking yourself WTF over and over.  However in the mean time I would suggest watching it, especially if you are into the crime drama scene.  Even if you aren’t, it’s worth watching if you are feeling like you’re doing a shitty job as a parent.  Turns out you could definitely be doing it worse.

Whiskey Cavalier: ABC can find any genre, with any script, and any director and so long as it stars Scott Foley- I will most definitely watch it. Basic, right?  When I first saw the commercial for this series, I thought it was a joke.  ABC and Scott Foley could not be coming out with something so cheesy and predictable.  Well, just saw the first episode on Hulu, and it was watching Jake Ballard be a traffic cop.  My prediction is this show gets one season- unless there is a drastic turn of events in the next episode or two.  Try it for yourself premiers Wednesday, February 27 (ABC).

Flimflammer
a person who cheats
Jimmy and Gwenyth have a lyric battle- and it ends with Gwenyth getting sprayed with water in the face.  I have to admit- I really really enjoyed that more than I should have.
Jimmy Fallon joins the cast of Hamilton, Puerto Rico for the opening of his show.

Family Photo Tradition-ish

December is arguably the busiest time of the year for our circus.  We have birthdays, our anniversary, all the holiday parties at school, and my husband caught the flu this year which really just throws your entire universe into a blender.  So in order to really complicate us, I decided to schedule a family photo session a few days before Christmas.

I don’t do family photo sessions as often as I should.  I aim to do it once a year, but realistically it’s been about every other year.  I do it for a few reasons.  First, it’s my favorite way to document how much our kids have grown and changed from one session to the next.  Second, it’s probably the only time I am going to be in a picture with my kids with my hair clean and with makeup.  Finally,  I secretly like to torture the kids and my husband for an hour by having to be dressed like humans who like to smile at a camera.

I was excited this year to work with Christian Arevalo and his amazing wife, Genesis.  I remember seeing a family session they did for a friend of mine on Instagram, and just being blown away.  You just immediately pick up on his vibe. There is so much warmth and beauty in every one of his photos.  If you have not had a chance to check out his work, I would scroll down below or check out his site, HERE

We spoke a couple of weeks before and decided to do the session in our home to help make the kids more at ease.  We both agreed that in-home sessions always bring more heart to the photos.  From the moment they stepped into the house, the kids were taken to them and he just started snapping. 

He gave us some direction to sit on the couch as a family… Then he let the kids be, themselves…

He captured some pretty sweet moments….

And some pretty funny moments…

 

But most importantly it was just us.  He just captured us, and I’m so very grateful. 

Bustamante Circus 2018

Mac n Cheese: Mad Love

At a very young age, I fell madly and deeply in love with Mac n Cheese.  I suppose I can thank Kraft for that, even though we now know that it was less Mac n Cheese and more pasta and yellow dye no 9. I digress.

This mad love affair has only grown stronger.  In fact, my husband knows if we go to a restaurant with Mac n Cheese on the menu- it will be ordered.  Whether it pairs well with our meal or not- ordered.  I simply must know what it tastes like in every single establishment I enter.  If you are wondering whether I have a running list of places with the best- the answer is obviously and perhaps I will share, one day.  If you are also wondering- yes I eat my children’s Mac n Cheese at restaurants- but so do you stop lying.

It goes without saying that I would have a recipe for it.  I have been perfecting it for years. I have tried different cheeses in the past, but found that keeping it simple goes a long way.

Hope you love it!

Ingredients

  • 8 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1 pound elbow macaroni
  • 8 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 4 cups whole milk (eyeball it)
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • Pinch paprika
  • 3  cups grated Cheddar (1 big block plus one small  block at the store)
  • 2 cups grated Colby/Jack Cheddar  (1 big block at the store)
  • 1/2 cup fine bread crumbs (maybe more)
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter a 2-quart baking dish with 1 tablespoon of the butter and set aside.
  2. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the macaroni and cook until al dente, about 10 minutes. Drain in a colander and rinse under cold running water. Drain well.
  3. Melt the remaining 7 tablespoons butter in a heavy 3-quart saucepan over medium heat. Add the flour, and stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, cook over medium heat for 3 to 4 minutes, being careful not to let the flour brown. Using a whisk, add the milk in a steady stream and cook, whisking constantly, until thick and smooth, 4-5 minutes. Remove from the heat. Add the salt, pepper, cayenne, and most of the  cups of the cheese (reserve 1/2 cup to add to mix with breadcrumbs to top), and stir well. Add the noodles and stir well. Pour into the prepared dish.
  4. In a mixing bowl, combine the remaining 1/2 cup of cheese with the bread crumbs and Essence. Sprinkle evenly over the macaroni and bake until golden brown and bubbly, about 25 minutes.
  5. Remove from the oven and let rest for 5 minutes before serving.

SW 28: {10.1.18} It’s October!

Welcome to the Twilight Zone

I had an entire intro prepared for you today that got completely side tracked by a comment my father made at dinner last night.

We were discussing all the new pilots we watched that week {this should not be a surprise to you} and the conversation suddenly turned into the funniest sitcoms of all time.  I love a funniest sitcom of all time conversation! As you can imagine we threw out all the obvious contenders Friends, Modern Family, Lucy, Golden Girls, How I Met Your Mother, The Goldbergs, and maybe you have now started to notice that Seinfeld is not on this list.  Seinfeld is on EVERYONE’s top comedy list. Right?

Are you sitting down? My father has unequivocally declared that Seinfeld is not funny.  He even specifically calls out the Soup Nazi as the prime example for “boring”.  My father literally stood up, threw air quotes around “No soup for you” and said “that is absolutely not funny.”

The table gave a resounding “are you FORKING kidding me?” Someone even did an Elaine dancing.  The puffy shirt!

Who was this man? My father?

I was so disenchanted.  You have to understand my father is my first comedy hero.  He can make ANYONE laugh no matter the scenario- if he wants to.  A gift truly.  My father does not like Jerry Seinfeld and do not even get him started on Larry David.  His head almost exploded at the mere mention of Larry’s name.

How can one of my comic heroes, truly despise another one of my comic heroes?  Made me wonder.  If I brought Jerry to have dinner with my family would Jerry think my father was funny?

Then I moved onto a much funnier fantasy that involved locking my dad in a room with Larry David with a TV that only plays The Big Bang Theory (because obviously they both hate that one) and see who makes it out alive.

Seems like everything was absolutely bat shit crazy this last week.  I mean the news cycle was one delusional outlandish thing after the other.  Cover most of the craziest moments below, and included a few other things that give us hope and make us laugh.

xx
Cristina

Breast Cancer Awareness Month 

HOPEFUL NEWS

The aim of Breast Cancer Awareness Month is to raise as much awareness about breast cancer and funds to help people fight it.

In a very brave and beautiful way Serena Williams is helping raise awareness with a new campaign she did in collaboration with the I Touch Myself Project to remind women to put their health first.    She can be seen singing  “I Touch Myself” acapella and topless.  To help spread the word on the importance of women giving themselves a self-exam.

You can check out the Breast Cancer Network Australia

or you can visit the National Breast Cancer Foundation or Susan G. Komen to find out what to look for or make at home or make a donation in the fight against breast cancer.

Shit Was CRAZY this Last Week 

Anyone want a beer?  Too soon to joke? We can all agree that what is happening with the nomination for Supreme Court is disheartening and disturbing for many many reasons.

So thank God for Saturday Night Live.  It’s controversial obviously people are offended- but I think they really sort of nailed it. Click the image for the link.

Lindsay Lohan can Speak Russian and Arabic?  How do I know? So glad you asked! Lindsay was live on her Instagram when she found a family of Syrian (assumed) refugees sleeping on the ground.  Lindsay proceeded to harass this family for 10 minutes, ultimately accusing them of trafficking the children.  Boy was she wrong.  At around the 9:00 mark the mother of these boys literally punches Lindsay in the face. I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP. Find that HERE.

Love Yourself As Much As Kanye Loves Kanye. Kanye (let the record show he now wants you to refer to him as Ye, but I think it’s ridiculous and will not participate) was the musical guest o SNL over the weekend.  He brought on some of the cast and host, Adam Driver and then well… you can watch HERE The reason this is really striking the wrong cord with, well, everyone besides maybe Donald Trump, is he said the 13th Amendment should be abolished. Later on Twitter he said “amended” but you can see the problem…

I definitely need to increase how much I save monthly.     Elon Mosk stepping down as chairman of Tesla and had to pay a $20 million fine.  Full article HERE. How does one afford a $20 Million fine?!  #hottamale

Some Happy Thoughts

Anyone need a laugh? I know after this shit show I do. Well Buzzfeed is here to serve, here are 14 tweets from the weekend that are just funny. Click HERE.

Ina Garten is out with a new cookbook, Cook Like a Pro! If you don’t absolutely love Ina, it’s because you don’t know her well enough.  I won’t walk that back.  It’s true.  She’s wonderful.  Hugging her is on my bucket list.  Don’t believe me, HERE is a lovely article about her, and it’s lovely because obviously an article about her would have to be.

On a Scale of 1-10 Millie Bobby Brown is an 11.  Ok cheesy very obvious jokes aside, Millie, Millie Bobby (not sure what to call her) took the stage at a Maroon 5 in Nashville in place of our girl, Cardi Cardi, and Millie killed it! Check that HERE. Because any excuse to hear “Girls Like You.”

God Bless My Little Balls!  One of my most favorite Bestie x Besite episodes ever! Jenny Slate and Gabe Liedman try to come up with a new catch phrase.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next?  I need a new show! What do you got?!
Have a suggestion? Let me know

HERE is a good list c/o Thrillist of suggestions for things you can quickly binge on Netflix if you’re looking for a good binge post Jack Ryan.

Manifest: This show was my favorite pilot of the week.  I came in with high expectations because there was the comparison to Lost, BUT it had a good twist.  I’m intrigued and love the characters.  I would definitely recommend. (find on NBC and Hulu)

Single Parents: I thought there was no chance that Blair Waldorff could be funny- but I was so wrong.  It’s a sitcom comedy so everyone take it for what it is.  An easy 20 minutes with some decent jokes.  Also I’m just a sucker for Brad Garrett- everything he does is hysterical to me. (ABC and Hulu)

A Million Little Things: The life of a group of friends post one of their friends taking his life.  It’s just as sad as it sounds.  I feel like it’s ABC’s answer to This is Us only with an even more depressing plot if possible.  Look people liked this one, and there is something that happens in the Pilot that kind of traps you into the next one.  This show will either surprise everyone and be incredible or be the absolute biggest piece of shit ever. #tbd #stillgoingtowatch (ABC and Hulu)

New Amsterdam: People really loved this one.  The main character is the husband from Blacklist (totally adorable he just has that weird hot nerd vibe), and it’s a totally ideal premise.  There are so many cheesy turns in the Pilot that would normally make me hate it- but I didn’t.  I’m in for the next episode.  I don’t recommend it seriously, but if you are looking for a decent medical drama with major predictability- this is your jam.

Delusional:
characterized by or holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument, typically as a symptom of mental disorder.based on or having faulty judgment; mistaken.

the being formally known as Kanye West

I am YE

Late Night part happy and mind numbing and the other makes you want to bash your head through the wall. #america
Jimmy and Chrissy answer Loaded Questions and take shots to avoid giving answers #happy
John Oliver giving a synopsis of what happened this week
#twilightzone

Surviving Weekly XXVI {9.18.18}

Ah, the Emmy’s.  A TV fan’s Super Bowl.  But better because it comes with so many pretty dresses, all our favorite celebrities, and most importantly no football.

I love sitting on my couch in my sweatpants ideally with a couple Oreos and some popcorn.  My hair most definitely unwashed and in a bun.  Maybe a hydrating mask if I’m feeling fancy. You know the optimal conditions for judging celebrity fashion.

Last night was no exception to this tradition. Unfortunately I found that someone had eaten all the Oreos, but did manage to find some chocolate in the kid’s candy stash (withhold judgment, thank you).

The show was really long.  There was laughter, winners, losers, a proposal, Chrissy Tiegen doing her thing, and a damn right robbery.  Let’s get to it.  Catch the full details per my perspective of course, and some more things happening around the internet below.

xx
Cristina

Emmy’s and all Their Glory

Last night was the 70th Annual Emmy Awards. They were hosted by Colin Jost andMichael Che from Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update.  The show went over their allotted 3 hours which begs the obvious question to all the people running these shows- how do you always go over? Seriously?

Anyway here is a quick recap:

First the fashion find the professional breakdown HERE.  My favorites have to be:
Jessica Biel
Kristen Bell
Thandie Newton

But again I was wearing sweat pants and stealing my kid’s candy last night.  So what the hell do I know.

The Opening Monologue was just ok.  That’s right.  Just ok.  Kind of boring had a moment or two.  BUT they moved onto a musical number that took a dig at Hollywood for talking the big talk of being “diverse” but really just improving by just a little bit.  It was pretty hilarious and had some great surprise guests.  Catch that HERE.

Henry Winkler won Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy for his role on Barry (HBO).  His speech was everything you would want from a mature Fonz.  Check it out HERE.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel almost completely swept the Comedy portion of the evening taking home the awards for Best ActressBest Supporting Actress,Outstanding Comedy Series, Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series, and Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series.

The creator/writer/producer Amy Sherman-Palladino is absolutely brilliant (also created Gilmore Girls) and her speeches and general presence last night was just a gift.  Fast forward the next clip to about 1:45 and absorb her spectacular weirdness (love her) Catch it HERE.

I don’t want to say I told you so- BUT if you have not watched this show what else do you need to know?! I told you this month’s ago, but I get it.  I’m just an opinionated mom of three with too much time on my hands.  Now we have an entire Academy handing out awards saying this show is a MUST.  Go to Amazon and do yourself a favor.

Chrissy Teigen managed to make a Meme out of herself again by ducking the camera in the most hilarious way.

Betty White was honored for being well, the greatest.  The room gave her a standing ovation, and Penelope Cruz was just not having it. I caught it on my Instagram Story if you want to check it out HERE.

Another big winner of the night was American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace.  With Darren Cris taking home Best Actor in a Limited Series, Ryan Murphy winning for Best Director in a Limited Series, and winning Outstanding Limited Series.

Other notable winners:
Best Leading Actor in a Comedy Bill Hader (Barry- HBO)
Best Leading Actor in a Drama- Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones- HBO)
Best Drama Series- Game of Thrones (OBVIOUSLY)

Finally my biggest complaintBest Actress in a Drama Series.  How do I say this delicately- What the FORK?!?! I loved The Crown, Season 2.  I thought Claire Foy was just lovely.  However Elizabeth Moss and Sandra Oh were absolutely positively robbed.  GET THE FORK OUT OF HERE if you want to tell me that Claire Foy portraying a young Queen Elizabeth comes close to the absolute swan dive into darkness June took us all on this season.  Not even Claire Foy herself could believe she won.  Ok, small rant over.  I am still trying to heal from this devastating loss.

I finally leave you with the sweetest yet strangest proposal I  have ever seen that did actually happen live.  Watch that HERE

Standouts of the Week 

Meghan Markle or the Duchess of Sussex, as I love to call her, has come together with a few women survivors of the Grenfell Tower Fire, on a cookbook which includes about 50 family recipes.  The Duchess has written the forward for the book and it is titled: “Together: Our Community Cookbook.”  All profits from the sale will go to help keep this community kitchen open 7 days a week.  The book will be released on September 20 at all major in store and online book retailers.

Something Navy Line! For those of you who find themselves a little more than obsessed with Instagram star Arielle Charnas– good news! Her line is set to launch next Monday, September 24.

Winter is Coming.. Just a little later than you like.  Game of Thrones Season 8 (the final season) has released a mini trailer to keep you completely unsatisfied until 2019.  There are rumors that it could be April- but I’m betting on June or July.  Click the image for the trailer.

Put a little southern in your life!   Reese Witherspoon just released her new book,Whiskey in a Teacup.  Get your copy HERE.

Ellen does it again.  Remember when that lady went viral for her Missy Elliot “Work It” video (If not click HERE).  Well Ellen brought her onto the show, and of course brought out Missy Misdemeanor Elliot so they could do a joint performance.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace– because how did I not see this and it cleaned up last night! 

Have a suggestion? Let me know

Maniac: (Netflix) Emma Stone, Justin Theroux, and Jonah Hill star in this thriller about two strangers who meet on a mind bending pharmaceutical trial.  It looks intense and completely bingeable.  Premiers September 21.

“music is space between noise.”
Jimmy and Justin Bieber surprise unsuspecting people in Central Park.
James Corden gets us all the details on the Spice Girls Reunion Tour of your dreams! It’s happening!

Surviving Weekly XXV {9.10.18} What’s that in the sky? A bird? A plane?

It’s Just Cardi B’s Louboutin

My husband and I were both born and raised in Miami.  About 8 years ago we decided to move to Miami Beach to be closer to his office so he could be around our kids more often.

In what is most definitely a blanket generalization of Miami geography and cliche- Miami is where most of the hispanic community is based and on Miami Beach you come across a more transient crowd, but also it’s a high Jewish population.

So with that said when we were looking for preschools there was 1 or 2 Catholic options, but we wanted Montessori and we settled on this great preschool based out of a Temple.  I’m not very religious (we can discuss this later) but I come from a long long line of very rule abiding Catholics.  As you can imagine- this was a problem for certain members of my family.  But for us it wasn’t.  The school was packed with love and God is God people.

Well let’s circle back to the point.   We had been living on the beach for a couple years at this point, and right around Rosh Hashanah our car rides were filled with songs about apples and honey and Shabbat Shalom and we were happy.

Rosh Hashanah morning my daughter wakes up so excited and runs out of her room saying “Shana Tova mama Shana Tova, when are we going to Temple?” (Shana Tova means “a good year”).  I realized in the moment that it may have come time for a little talk.  Before I could get a round to it there was a knock at my door. I walk over and open it up.

There before me is a man dressed in a button down, dress pants, a hat and a full beard.  “Shana Tova” he begins, “Is your family Jewish?”  Traditionally these men are going around collecting money on the holiday.

“Good Morning,” I reply, “no I’m sorry we aren’t but…” I couldn’t finish my sentence before my daughter has come running to the front door.  She looks up at him smiling eyes wide open, “Shana Tova Rabbi!”

The man looks back at me in disgust like I am a dirty liar.  I laugh nervously, “No you see we send her to the Temple down the…”

She cuts me off again, “I love your Shofar” {for those who don’t know it’s a Ram’s horn used in certain Jewish ceremonies}.  Now this guy is looking at me.

I only had one thing left to say at this point, “Let me go get my checkbook”.

xx
Cristina

Serena Williams is my Hero 


Her record includes 23 grand slam titles.  (the most ever).  See her record HERE.

Around 10 months ago Serena Williams gave birth to her daughter, Alexis, in a labor that almost killed her and required multiple surgeries.

Taking the time off to have her baby caused Serena to lose her rank in tennis.  Meaning that in each of these tournaments she has had to start from the bottom to make it to the finals (which she has).

What happened to Serena in the finals of the US Open this weekend was a disgrace. Can you imagine this scenario happening to Roger Federer? or Nadal?  Probably not.

Serena Williams loses in the final of the US Open to Naomi Osaka after receiving penalties for “cheating” and “breaking her racket”.  Because we all know that the men in this sport are notorious for keeping their composure (talking to you McEnroe).

To be clear Naomi Osaka may have won anyway.  The 20 year old prodigy from Japan played phenomenally well against her idol, Serena.  It is however hard to say considering the accusation of cheating flew at Serena in the first set, and she was unable to recover.

No one in the midst of competition, especially on this level, could possibly keep their cool after being accused of cheating.

How a referee could so recklessly accuse the greatest female tennis player in history during the finals of the US Open in the first set that she is cheating shows zero deference or respect for the tennis star.  I’d like to know how many times this specific referee has called other players out for the same thing.

So I looked, and no surprise the only other person he has accused of cheating in the past is Venus Williams.  He has been called a “stickler” for the rules, but on this particular code violation- I guess we can just call it coincidence.  His record HERE.

Her response: “I don’t cheat to win, I’d rather lose.”

All she wanted was an apology.  An apology she deserves.

As Billie Jean King said so perfectly:

“When a woman is emotional, she’s ‘hysterical’ and she’s penalized for it. When a man does the same, he’s ‘outspoken’ & and there are no repercussions. Thank you @serenawilliams for calling out this double standard. More voices are needed to do the same.”

Looks exactly the same to me:

Standouts of the Week 

Harper’s Bazaar Icons Party went on over the weekend.  It’s considered by some to be the party of the year (not that I’m ever invited), and this year it got CRAZY! Before we get to that below HERE is a link for the night’s best dressed.

Ding! Ding! Fighters to Your Corners! Apparently our girl, Cardi B, is a little fed up with Nicki Minaj, and walked right up to her in the middle of the fanciest most pretentious party and let her have it.  I’m talking throw your Louboutin at her type of have it.

Cardi B, in her beautiful Dolce & Gabbana dress, marched right up to Nicki and her entourage and began to yell.  Apparently Nicki’s security guard “accidentally” elbowed Cardi in the face, but not before Cardi could launch her shoe in Nicki’s direction.

Video of the Louboutin that launched an all out war can be seen HERE

Why do I love Cardi? She was escorted out of this insanely fancy party with a huge bump on her face, a now broken designer dress, one shoe, and her head held high!

Why did Cardi do it? Well in her own words:

EGOT GOATS! John Legend, Andrew Lloyd Webber, and Tim Rice all achieved EGOT status at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards on Sunday for producing Jesus Christ Superstar Live.  Read article HERE. Safe to say Chrissy was proud of her man.

10 Years From Now Food Will Be…  in THIS ARTICLE scientists are breaking down what food will likely be like in 2028.  A hint: less meat and more health.  Check out the article to see how science is evolving our food to suit our specific needs.

Consider Yourself a Movie Buff? Well this Fall is looking like it’s going to be one for the books.  Hollywood Reporter has just put out a list of what you can expect this movie season. Check it out HERE.

Breaking Barriers.  Marian Avila, is a 21 year old model with Down Syndrome, who just had her dreams come true as she made her first walk down a runway during New York Fashion Week, at designer Talisha White’s show.  Find the full story HERE.

TV Addict Update  
As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

What’s on my list to watch next? Kidding (see below), The Innocents (Netflix)
Have a suggestion? Let me know

New Fall Premier Schedule HERE

Shameless: (Showtime) Is back for the 9th season.   If you have not seen this show- I would highly suggest a binge.  This family has been through it and are probably the most dysfunctional humans I’ve ever seen on television, but they love each other hard.  Emmy Rossum has just announced it will be her last season the show, and I can’t imagine it without Fiona- but I’m definitely going to watch to see how it plays out.

Kidding: (Showtime) Jim Carrey is back and starring in this new show on Showtime, just premiered last night September 9.  He is a Mr. Roger’esque character, and it explores the man behind the show.  The reviews are pretty good calling it “wonderful, terrifying and heartbreaking” at the same time.  Read a full review HERE.  Click the image for the trailer.

Sierra Burgess is a Loser: (Netflix Movie) Netflix has brought in the big bucks to bring you movies that you are predisposed to love based on their algorithms and intense study of human behavior {I’m not kidding}.  Sierra is no different.  It’s a love story- but not just romantic love.  It takes a turn I didn’t see coming, and I liked it.  I would suggest it if you have a an hour or two on a plane and need something fresh and easy to watch.  It’s no Kissing Booth.

Misogyny:
dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.
“We are Gods.”
Jimmy teaches the newest Bachelor, Colton, all about the birds and the bees.
Jimmy Fallon and Sir Paul McCartney surprise fans in an elevator.

Surviving Weekly XXIV {9.4.18}

My Uber Score is in Decline, and I need Help

We are big uber people in our house.  My husband’s office and kid’s school is all within a mile of each other, so we opted to be a one car family.  It’s almost never a problem, and using Uber daily is generally less expensive than having a second car with insurance and gas etc.  When you’re raising three tiny humans, you find the ways to save.  (My husband actually wrote a whole post about this a year or two ago you can read HERE).

Well, the thing with taking Uber a lot is that you kind of depend on that score staying high.  Oh what? Back track… yes people we score the Uber drivers, but guess what they score you right back.  I didn’t even realize the judgment of some random person who took me for a 10 minute drive could impact me so deeply, until I saw my score.  I’m at a loss.  I thought I was charming.  Apparently- this is not the case. [Find out your uber score HERE Is how]

Why uber drivers? What did I ever do to you?  I don’t smell, I come into the car give my polite “hello, how are you?” and then I just keep to myself.  I take the chance to read some news, check Instagram, online shop.  Is that where I offend? Cut a girl some slack! Typically I’m in the car with three kids who are in some sort of competition to see who can say “Mom” the most.  Can’t a girl, just peruse the new arrivals at Zara without getting slammed with a shitty rating.  

If the uber drivers think I’m bad when sober and quiet, you wouldn’t believe the things I do when I’ve had too much to drink.  But you see, this Uber, this is why I’m confused.  My non-ladylike borderline obnoxious behavior only comes when I’m in the Uber under my husband’s account and he is a 4.85.  What gives! 

I’ve thrown up, talked politics, talked bad about other Uber drivers (gasp! not that I regret that anymore), and sang Wilson Phillips “Hold On” at the top of my lungs, and his rating is higher than mine.   

I had this conversation with an Uber driver recently, because I wanted to understand.  The dude told me he almost didn’t pick me up because my score was so low.  To quote the man “What did you do to these drivers because it takes a lot to give a bad review.” Needless to say I begged him for 5.0 to help boost me, and in hindsight that mofo probably demolished me. 

To this man and all Uber drivers I say- I have no clue how I offend your sensibilities so deeply and I make no apologies.

I’m going to do everything I can do to come after my husband’s rating this weekend.  Even if it means I have to have a ton of drinks to do it.

xx
Cristina 

PS HERE is the Wilson Phillips “Hold On” video, because duh

RIP Senator John McCain 

Over the weekend, Senator John McCain was put to rest.

This is not a political anything.  I just liked and admired him deeply.  He calls it like he sees it, and I think people like that are good for the soul.  He was a man of honor and a role model that we seldom get in politics or any arena these days.  Loving husband and father.  He will be missed by many.

Here are 3 really bad ass things that you may not have known about John McCain:

  1. McCain following his paternal grandfather and father attended the Naval Academy of Annapolis.  He graduated 5th from the bottom of his class proving that where you finish in school doesn’t always dictate your potential for greatness.
  2. He was a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War (shot down on his 23rd mission), REFUSED early release from prison until the other POW’s were also released.  Then did rehab and all he could to try to return to the Navy and continue serving our country (9 months following his return).
  3. McCain earned the Silver Star, Bronze Star, Purple Heart and Distinguished Flying Cross, The Liberty Medal and more.

His remains will lie in state at the U.S. Capitol Rotunda, a honor presented to less than three dozen people in US History, including former presidents Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy.

Senator John Kyl will replace former Senator McCain.  Full article HERE.

History lesson has concluded.  RIP to a great man.

Standouts of the Week 

I am willing to bet that NO ONE reading this had a better Labor Day than Lindsay Lohan in Mykonos.  The internet has gone B-A-N-A-N-A-S over THIS MUST SEE video of America’s sweetheart dancing like no one’s watching. Except that everyone is watching.  She is most likely on a few glasses of champagne, possibly a drug or two, but she looks free as a bird.  Get it girl!

In even BETTER news Lohan is hoping to make this the next big dance challenge#dothelilo is trending.  Get on it people… Article HERECan you smell that? Apparently a truck carrying a shipment of Axe body spray caught fire on the high way in Texas.  The cans caught fire and the smell of a boy who has been misguided in an attempt to impress the ladies filled the air.  Click HERE for the full story.Just Do It.  Nike is celebrating 30 years of their “Just Do It” Campaign.  To honor the occasion, the brand featured Colin Kaepernick with a very powerful message about sacrifice. I featured it below and will let you decide for yourself.

20 Something Year Old Virgin Bachelor? Yes please. Colton Underwood has finally been confirmed as the next bachelor.  Fans are pretending to be outraged, but we all know that we will be sitting there premier night.  Stop pretending that an attractive, former NFL quarterback, philanthropist is a bad decision.  I’m a fan! He’s a little stressed, but hopefully one of the ladies can help him “unwind”.  Who is hosting the first watch party? Read an official article HERE

Remember Free Willy? THIS video of Orca’s frolicking off the coast of Monterrey Bay is everything you need for a mini-meditation or just because whales are awesome.

Is this Croqueta Chicken or Ham? Irregardless it’s Delicious.  You see stereotypes are fun! Check out THIS article where 50 People Explain their state’s most popular stereotypes.

TV Addict Update  

As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.

Fall TV is coming back check out the full schedule HERE.

What’s on my list to watch next? 
Have a suggestion? Let me know

The Mayans: (FX) For all those who fell in love with Jax Teller and the misadventures of his motorcycle club, comes the spinoff we have all maybe been waiting for.  I will let you decide.  The Mayans premiers tonight on FX at 10 PM.

This Sunday: There are a few premiers you can catch including: The Deuce (Season 2 HBO), Shameless (SHO), and You (Lifetime- see below).

You: (Lifetime) For those judging the Lifetime suggestion check out the preview HERE. The casting is just begging for us to watch with Penn Badgley (Gossip Girl) and Shay Mitchell (Pretty Little Liars), and I can’t imagine there is a cheesy storyline that I won’t completely eat up.  I will back with the report next week.

Honorable:
1deserving of respect or high regard deserving of honor
2
  • of great renown illustrious
  • entitled to honor or respect —used as a title for the children of certain British noblemen and for various government officials

3performed or accompanied with marks of honor or respect

4

  • attesting to creditable conduct
  • consistent with a reputation that is not tarnished or sullied
5characterized by integrity guided by a keen sense of duty and ethical conduct
The World is the new art school