by Cristina |
Last Updated: April 30, 2018 Updated 1/4/22
Back in December of 2017 I was starting to feel really bad. My head had slowly gone from a mild headache to full blown migraine level pain for almost two weeks. Obviously this coincided with my children’s winter break. I was entertaining three tiny circus monkeys all while fighting off a headache that could not be cured with any over the counter, or even prescription medicine. Things took a turn for the worse when I realized that I had also suddenly put on 8 lbs, and my ankles were so swollen they barely fit into my sneakers. I was so miserable, and it reflected on my face and definitely in my parenting.
Finally, when I just couldn’t take it anymore, I went to the ER for something to take this headache away, and we found out my blood pressure was 150/100. Something was up.
Once they were able to shut down my headache, with what must have been a horse tranquilizer, the real work began. Since December 28,2017 I have done a number of tests to try and figure out what in my body has changed and shifted to the point that my blood pressure cannot be stabilized without intervention. I have no history of high blood pressure on either side of my family, I was only 34 and in relatively good shape.
They did find a tiny tumor on my adrenal gland. This was terrifying. If the tumor was benign, we would just monitor it. However if the tumor was active or malignant, it would need to be removed. But if it was active, it could be the reason for my symptoms. After many tests, the doctors concluded that the tumor was benign and just needed to be watched.
I was a hypochondriac who now had to live every day knowing there was a tumor on my adrenal glad. The gland responsible for all the cortisol (adrenaline) that runs through your body. It was pretty ironic and was going to do nothing good for all the anxiety and stress I was constantly feeling.
We still do not have any concrete answers, but the doctors did make one thing very clear- I needed to change my entire lifestyle. I had to change my diet, I had to exercise, and most importantly I had to get my emotions under control.
I had never felt so out of control. My body had gone completely rogue. I was upset. But after a lot of conversations with Bobby, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to take back the power, and control what I could.
Exercise has now taken on a new role in my life. It is not just my stress relief but a way for me to try to keep my body in line. A thing I can do every day to make sure I am staying healthy, not just for my jeans, but for me.
I had also started going to a therapy to help with my anxiety (more on this another time), and she (my angel therapist) introduced me to Tich Nhat Hanh.
Tich is a Buddhist monk, but don’t let me lose you. Besides being adorable, his approach to life was so simple, yet deep. To me, this simplicity was beautiful. I was really put off by the idea of meditation at first, but have become a firm believer. I just think everyone needs to find their own way to do it.
I am not good at the more traditional meditation where you sit down for 10 minutes and clear your mind with an app. This comes easier to my husband. What Tich showed me was that anything can be a meditation, so long as it is done with intention, mindfully. As my therapist taught me I can just do, “lots of little things- many times.”
My meditations include eating delicious food, taking a few deep breaths in the shower (between songs), having some Blue Hibiscus Tea, exercise, and a few more things that I enjoy doing but now I do them with more thought and more gratitude.
So why am I am writing this. I am writing this because I, like you, had so much going on in my life. I could give you a million reasons as to why I wasn’t doing a better job eating the right things. I could give you a list of all the valid why’s I couldn’t make it to the gym on a regular basis. The best and most valid excuse being complete exhaustion. I could give you blame and excuses for why I was having such a hard time keeping my emotions in check. But when you get a health scare- something inside you shifts. At least for me it did.
But I don’t think anyone should wait for something to act. Why wait for a health scare to get you moving.
All humor aside, we need to take care of ourselves. The majority of you are moms, and we are most at risk. Self-care isn’t a trend, well it is a trend right now, but it’s a must. Find the time, even if it’s just twenty minutes. Take control.
I am in no way an authority here. But I am here if you have any questions about ways to get started. I will happily share resources that I have found helpful. Things that have given me insight and wisdom in ways to deal with the insanity of raising tiny humans without completely losing your mind.
We are all in this together Namaste!