All the moments of intense frustration are all rushing back to me…  Give me a minute.

I want to be one of those people that loves Disney.  Right? I mean those people are seriously happy.  I don’t think I have ever met someone who loves Disney and isn’t a pure unequivocal optimist. Sigh. You see realists like me, ok fine, pessimists like me- we don’t do well in Disney.

For the love of God it’s so much happiness.  Everywhere you look is another perfectly manufactured way to bring joy to all those who pass by.  It’s so much smiling.  My face hurt at the end of the day from all the forced, and to my surprise, some genuine smiling.  Because yes- it’s absolutely impossible to bring your children to Disney World, see them light up with so much happiness that they are actually farting glitter, and not smile.

However- those moments to take in the smiles and the happiness are just that, moments.  You only get those moments after suffering at the merciless hands of the rest of your Disney experience. Cover your eyes, optimists. I’m about to get REAL.

They give you the opportunity to select 3 fast passes.  You can reserve them up to a month prior to your visit, and if you didn’t set an alarm for that you probably aren’t getting the most popular rides.  Where does that leave the rest of us, Disney? I’ll tell you where- in a line.

Just an 80 minute line for the Snow White Mine Train Rollercoaster.  “Mommy- please can we please ride the Snow White Rollercoaster?”  I want that smile, so I very begrudgingly say yes.  80 minutes, how bad can that be?  So. So. Bad.  Mostly because it turned into a 150 minute wait, but who is counting, Disney? Me.  I’m counting.

I’m not just counting the minutes, I’m counting the number of grown adults also standing in this 150 minute line to ride a Snow White Rollercoaster made for children 36″ and up.  I at least get that minute of joy from my children at the end of this- why are you here? There’s not even liquor in this park- let alone this line.  Save yourselves!

Even my daughter at one point had had enough.  We went to go to the bathroom and there was a line out the door and she looks at me, looks back at the whole line, and very angrily shouted “What?! Perfect there’s a line for the bathroom, this place is ridiculous.”  I was so proud at her for the perfectly delivered complaint laced with a tiny bit of sarcasm, but she should probably get used to lines at the bathroom (note to self prepare her for this).

Also- these rides are not made for families of 5.  What is up with that? One of us is always left out, and by one of us I obviously only mean my husband.

There we are, 150 minutes later at the front of this line, my new Everest, and it only seats two per row.  Our girls want to ride it together, our son wants to ride with me, and poor daddy all alone- left out.  Shame.

A 150 minute line of hell- for these couple minutes of pure joy

well for most of us

Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish friends!

We have so much going on this week… let’s get to it.

xx
Cristina

A Very Expensive Hanukkah Miracle   

Rumors were swirling on Monday that Friends would be leaving Netflix on January 1, 2019.  As you can imagine- Twitter was rampant with outrage and heartbreak.  I also like to imagine a lot of these were happening

Well the panic didn’t last long.  By the end of the day Netflix had assured us:

But can you guess how much Netflix paid to keep the show for one more year?  Guess… you will never guess.  $100 Million

That’s right.  Netflix paid $100 Million to keep the show and make all of their customers happy.  Tell me the last time any friend of yours made that kind of gesture to keep you smiling.   Also how happy is the cast to get that royalty check?

While I am also relieved they will be there for me through 2019 on Netflix, I don’t understand the freak out.   We could just watch Friends on literally every single channel on basic cable, because the show is ALWAYS on.  #justsaying #100millionlater

Standouts of the Week 

Are you like me? Do you just do whatever Oprah says?   Well there’s a whole new list of things you need to buy then. Oprah’s List of Her Favorite Things is Out! In case you wanted to get some good ideas for gifts this holiday season.  ClickHERE

What happens when 20 hyenas attack a lone lion? I suddenly totally respect the Lion Guard.  I digress- this video has gone viral watch what happens. Click HERE

The Bachelor is clearly going to be real sensitive about this whole virginity thing. Colton Underwood is out with his new promo for the Bachelor- and shout out to all the women who are lining up to be the one who shows a grown man how to have sex.  Show premiers January 7.

Lindsay Lohan or Disney Princess?  Lindsay on the cover of Paper and giving us her perspective on life (interesting), that really bizarre video she live streamed accusing refugees of child trafficking, and her new business.  But most importantly she will be starting in her own unscripted reality show called Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club airing on MTV on January 8, 2019.  I had quit most reality shows, however I may have to make an exception.  Catch the full article HERE or click the image.

Warning: Super Blood Moon and Total Eclipse to coincide coming January 2019- and sure to bring out all the crazy life has to offer.  Will warn you as it gets closer.  You can count on me.  Unless the moon messes with me- then I promise you nothing.  Full article HERE.

TV Addict Update  

What’s on my list to watch next? Give me something!
Have a suggestion? Let me know! 

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: (Amazon Prime) Season 2 is here! Now streaming on Amazon Prime and so far it’s everything you love about the show.  It’s smart, hilarious and the costume and settings are out of this world.  Let me know what you think! Catch a preview HERE, and if you have never seen this show- ARE YOU LIVING UNDER A ROCK?

Dumplin: (Netflix) I haven’t been this excited to see something for a while (and this says a lot).  Starring one of our favorite friends, Jennifer Aniston, it’s the story of a mother daughter and Dolly Parton, and well just watch the preview.  Airs tomorrow, December 7 on Netflix!  HERE is a review for those who don’t fully trust me yet. Click the image for the trailer.