|Some of you follow me on Instagram (ahem- all of you should follow me on IG), and if you do follow you may have caught some of my family’s trip to Disney. Oh man just saying the word sets me off. Disney…
All the moments of intense frustration are all rushing back to me… Give me a minute.
I want to be one of those people that loves Disney. Right? I mean those people are seriously happy. I don’t think I have ever met someone who loves Disney and isn’t a pure unequivocal optimist. Sigh. You see realists like me, ok fine, pessimists like me- we don’t do well in Disney.
For the love of God it’s so much happiness. Everywhere you look is another perfectly manufactured way to bring joy to all those who pass by. It’s so much smiling. My face hurt at the end of the day from all the forced, and to my surprise, some genuine smiling. Because yes- it’s absolutely impossible to bring your children to Disney World, see them light up with so much happiness that they are actually farting glitter, and not smile.
However- those moments to take in the smiles and the happiness are just that, moments. You only get those moments after suffering at the merciless hands of the rest of your Disney experience. Cover your eyes, optimists. I’m about to get REAL.
They give you the opportunity to select 3 fast passes. You can reserve them up to a month prior to your visit, and if you didn’t set an alarm for that you probably aren’t getting the most popular rides. Where does that leave the rest of us, Disney? I’ll tell you where- in a line.
Just an 80 minute line for the Snow White Mine Train Rollercoaster. “Mommy- please can we please ride the Snow White Rollercoaster?” I want that smile, so I very begrudgingly say yes. 80 minutes, how bad can that be? So. So. Bad. Mostly because it turned into a 150 minute wait, but who is counting, Disney? Me. I’m counting.
I’m not just counting the minutes, I’m counting the number of grown adults also standing in this 150 minute line to ride a Snow White Rollercoaster made for children 36″ and up. I at least get that minute of joy from my children at the end of this- why are you here? There’s not even liquor in this park- let alone this line. Save yourselves!
Even my daughter at one point had had enough. We went to go to the bathroom and there was a line out the door and she looks at me, looks back at the whole line, and very angrily shouted “What?! Perfect there’s a line for the bathroom, this place is ridiculous.” I was so proud at her for the perfectly delivered complaint laced with a tiny bit of sarcasm, but she should probably get used to lines at the bathroom (note to self prepare her for this).
Also- these rides are not made for families of 5. What is up with that? One of us is always left out, and by one of us I obviously only mean my husband.
There we are, 150 minutes later at the front of this line, my new Everest, and it only seats two per row. Our girls want to ride it together, our son wants to ride with me, and poor daddy all alone- left out. Shame.
A 150 minute line of hell- for these couple minutes of pure joy
well for most of us
Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish friends!
We have so much going on this week… let’s get to it.