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I Was Not My Best Self This Weekend
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I broke one of my most sacred rules this weekend and I may never be the same. Let me set the scene for you. My husband and I left the kids with my parents for a sleepover Saturday night so that we could attend an event. Freedom! Right? Some parents get sad when they leave their kids for a night, but I am not that parent. A night off is heaven. So we get to the event and it’s open bar, and let me just admit out right that I may have taken advantage of it.
As the night continues, I see a girl I hadn’t seen in years. This girl has always been very thin, and I know she had a baby boy a couple years back and now has a belly. We greet each other very excited, and I put my hand on her belly and say “Oh my God congratulations. How far along are you?” Her smile is gone now. You see because she looks right at me and says “I had the baby a few weeks back.” I’m dead. Done. There is no recovery here. Any acquaintance this girl and I once shared is now gone- as it should be.
Don’t say it. I already know. What kind of an asshole am I? Truly the worst kind. She gave me dirty looks the rest of the night, and you know what? Get it girl! I deserve every single one of them. I hope she told all of her friends about what a terrible human I am because that’s what I get for breaking the MOST sacred rule of being a woman.
So don’t be like Cristina- unless a woman has unequivocally told you that she is pregnant do NOT comment on her belly and most definitely do not rub it. It’s offensiveAF. To this woman if you ever read this- I am eternally sorry.
Since we are being honest this is also following me going out the night before and accidentally mom shaming a fellow mom. Don’t crucify me yet! She mentioned her teenage daughter was watching 13 Reasons Why and since I haven’t stopped having nightmares since I saw the finale I really wanted her to understand how intense it is. I wasn’t trying to shame her- it was supposed to be a warning. But the bottle of wine my husband and I had just had at dinner probably impeded my ability to skillfully communicate that. She definitely did not see that I was coming from a place of concern, and I clearly should not be allowed to leave my house again ever. Probably should stop drinking too. To this mom if you happen to read this- I am so sorry. I was traumatized and you know what’s best for your daughter.
These two incidences do not even combine to equal out to the actual worst thing I did this weekend. Perhaps I will share that with you another time, when I have learned to live with the shame, or you run into me when I’m out. Since clearly I cannot shut up once I’ve had a drink or two.
xx
Cristina
Grab the Tissues
The drama department from Marjory Stoneman Douglas made a surprise appearance on the Tony’s last night singing Seasons of Love from Rent. To say it was moving does not even begin to cover it, let’s put it this way Amy Schummer in tears at the end. Click the image to watch.
For full coverage of what happened on the Tony’s last night click here. |
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Bachelor Nation- Assemble!
Oh wow! My IG story was extra long last week and it wasn’t pretty. If we are being honest, we all have to admit out loud that the producers of The Bachelorette have gone too far this season.With the exception of a few, they stacked Becca’s deck with some of the most egregious personalities in this show’s history [and that is saying something]. They brought some of these men just for the sake of the TV GOLD they would make. I KNOW they always do this in some way, but this is a little much. Here are my takeaways from last week:Read the whole recap here.
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Remember in College When Kids Donated Plasma…
Well good news for frat guys everywhere. The new money is in the poop. I know what you’re thinking it sounds gross, but hear me out- because this is on the rise.
Why do I know this? Glad you asked. I was having a less than normal conversation with my husband and his family about ways to treat a persistent [not mine] rash, when it was suggested that perhaps the person with the rash should consider a fecal transplant. You know in case the rash is a product of the gut. I digress.
Naturally we were all grossed out, but so intrigued. One google search later and BOOM CHECK THIS OUT .
It’s a thing. Science! |
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| Things From Around the Internet |
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| Do you remember Rebecca Black? No probably not but she is the girl from that song Friday. Right! I also thought we would never hear from her again, but she is back! The Four is Diddy’s attempt to do a singing competition and Ms. Black came on and did a cover of N*SYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye” and it’s pretty incredible. Check it out HERE.
The International House of Pancakes, the breakfast chain that symbolizes Americana, is changing its name to “IHob.” A series of mysterious tweets by IHOP/IHOb have dropped clues about what the new name means, but expect a fuller explanation later Monday.
So there I am randomly scrolling on Instagram (no surprise there) when BOOM! Reese Witherspoon hit me with the big news. Legally Blond 3 is coming!
For all my Felicity fans, there was a cast reunion yesterday. That’s right Keri Russel, Scott Foley and Scott Speedman {sigh} were all together discussing how Felicity ended. No surprise they couldn’t really remember. Probably because it was one of the worst endings of all time (in my humble opinion), which they also agreed to. Read the full article here– because any reason to see Ben again, right?
Kanye West dropped released a new album with Kid Cudi called Kids See Ghosts which you can catch on Spotify or Apple Music. Reviews are pretty stellar. Freeeeeeeeee.
I don’t care which side of the political spectrum you fall on, watching Donald Trump sing “God Bless America” during his “celebration of America” is highly entertaining. Don’t believe me clickHERE.
We all know that Game of Thrones is gearing up for it’s last season. Well don’t let that get you too sad, HBO has just ordered a pilot for a prequel series that will bring us back 1000 years before the events in Game of Thrones. Created by Jane Goldman and George R.R. Martin whose books served as the basis for GOT. Sounds pretty pretty amazing to me. Here’s a picture of Jon Snow and Daenerys just because.
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| As we have established, time and time again, I watch too much TV.
The Kissing Booth: God dammit! No one in the world knows me or cares more about me watching amazingly bad TV more than the people who wrote the algorithm at Netflix. Netflix has basically been insisting that I watch this movie. It began to feel like Netflix would not let me watch anything else on Netflix until I watched this movie. It’s one of those it’s really bad but somehow it’s good movies. You wouldn’t make this recommendation at a fancy dinner party filled with fancy guests, but it’s one of those you whisper to your best friend on the down low that she has to watch stat. Here’s a glimpse of what you can expect. CLICK HERE
The Affair: Season 4 is premiering this Sunday, June 17. Season 3 took a little turn for the weird, but I’m hoping that this season brings us back. For those who aren’t caught up the first 2 seasons of this show are INCREDIBLE!
World Cup starts this Thursday, June 14! which I am very aware of because my daughter has been filling her sticker book for the last few weeks.
Also premiering this week:
The Bold Type– Tuesday June 12 @ 8 PM (est) on Freeform- Look I have no defense for why I watch it but if you want to catch up it’s on Hulu
The Profit– Tuesday June 12 @ 10 PM (est) on CNBC
Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce– Final Season Thursday June 14 10 PM (est) Bravo – catch up on Netflix
Have a suggestion of something I should watch? Let me know! |
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Roseate:1 : resembling a rose especially in color
2 : overly optimistic : viewed favorably
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In the 1962 World Cup, the Chilean team ate Swiss Cheese before beating Switzerland, spaghetti before beating Italy, and drank vodka before beating the USSR. Then they drank coffee before their match against Brazil- but lost.
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| This week was a little slow so here is one #throwback and a Cover Battle for anyone who needs a solid laugh. |
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by Cristina |
Last Updated: June 11, 2018 
