by Cristina |
Last Updated: November 29, 2018 A lot of things happen after Thanksgiving. Our jeans fit way more snug. Stores basically go into competition with each other over who can offer us the biggest discount. Holiday music is now officially everywhere.
TV also takes a hiatus. All our favorite shows do this new thing called “Fall Finale” and we are left without new episodes. Cue the Hallmark Channel. It becomes the premier destination for women everywhere.
But Hallmark is no longer the only show in town. Something extra special has come to us this year via Netflix. The best part? An endless supply of Christmas Cheese and Romance are at your fingertips. You don’t have to wait around anymore to see what Hallmark is going showing us. We get to binge this entire genre without any limitations. The sky is the limit, people!
Naturally, I tasked myself with scoping out as many of these movies as I could, only so that I could give you a shortcut to the one’s that are worth your time. I know- I am a so selfless. Basically a saint.
These movies aren’t written to win awards, or tell a perfectly beautiful story that will be timeless for years to come. The actors aren’t the best in the business, but they’re all really pretty and get the job done. We have seen all of these stories before- but that is not why we watch. We watch for the perfect balance of cheesy drama and pure, unbridled, reach for the stars kind of predictable happiness.
So here it is my breakdown of the “most suggested” Christmas movies now available on Netflix. Now if anyone needs me- I am somewhere face down humming Mariah’s “All I want for Christmas is You” trying to figure out how to function out in a world that isn’t all whirlwind Christmas romances and life changing coincidence, sigh.
*movies ranked in order from least cheesy to most cheesy and give a score of 0-100 (100 being extremely cheesy, and 0 the least)
Love Actually: CLASSIC PERFECTION. (Cheese Score: 40%) Since it’s premier in 2003- this movie has defined Christmas. I don’t think there has ever been a holiday season where I don’t watch it. It is the bar setter for all other Christmas movies and the perfect opening for this list. It’s completely predictable, straightforward, awkward, corny, romantic, and has a dancing Hugh Grant. It is what all Christmas movies aspire to be. If you have never seen this list… I can’t finish this sentence. It’s impossible you have all seen this. Thank you Netflix for bringing it to us this season…
The Holiday Breakup: MOST LIKELY TO HAPPEN IRL. (Cheese Score: 62%) It moves to the top of the list for one main reason- sex. Because let’s face it- these movies never do! So we see this couple through their entire relationship and not just the first two days where they met and fall madly in love with each other. I really was expecting a bomb here, and don’t get me wrong it’s still a Christmas romcom but I dug it. Seems like you know just what will happen here- BUT it takes a twist.
Christmas Inheritance: BEEN THERE BUT LOVE IT ANYWAY. (Cheese Score: 70%) We have seen this story before, but so what. We can’t disqualify our holiday movies this way. It’s about the journey. I liked this one. I mean it was cheesy, but in all the right ways. It was a heart warmer and only lagged a little towards the end. I loved the cast, I mean it even has Andie MacDowell and a couple other recognizable faces. What’s not to love?
A Christmas Prince: Bottom line: WATCH (CHEESE SCORE 78%) Undercover reporters, family secrets, a prince charming. What else do your holiday romance dreams involve? This checks all the boxes. This movie was such a hit for Netflix last year, it probably spurred a whole new onslaught of cheese to be launched into our streaming universe. So also, Thank you A Christmas Prince, the gift that keeps on giving.
The Princess Switch: BRING ON THE CHEESE (Cheese Score 84%) It’s almost like this movie combines The Parent Trap with My Best Friend’s Wedding and A Christmas Prince. A combination like this can only result in one thing- Christmas movie magic. It’s just the right balance of cheesy and adorable to make it through and walk away happier.
The Christmas Chronicles: SANTA BABY! (CHEESE SCORE 84%) This is a different kind of movie. It isn’t romantic or cheesy. Kurt Russell can even make the role of Santa hot. It’s a heart warming story of a brother and sister bonding on Christmas while interfering in Santa’s deliveries. Great for the kids- it doesn’t blow our cover for those who are still keeping Santa alive in their home, and actually provides a solid theory for how he makes it happen on Christmas Eve.
The Holiday Calendar. OVERBOARD. (CHEESE SCORE 93%) This one was tough for me to make it through. I had to walk away a few times. It seemed too predictable and the acting (even for Christmas movie standards) was truly bad. However it did get better, and the ending was sweet.
Christmas Wedding Planner. HOLY CHEESE. (CHEESE SCORE 96%). It’s literally the Wedding Planner (think JLo) mixed a little with Rush Hour but set during Christmas and with no Matthew McConaughey or Alex Karev. Yet somehow it still worked. Kelly Rutherford brings a very upper east side Lily Van der Woodsen vibe to her role, which I always can appreciate. The plot is actually terrible, as I am thinking about it right now I realize it’s painful. However if you can overlook major character flaws and just accept the happy ending- this is for you. I know I liked it.
Christmas With a View: A PORN WITH NO RELEASE (CHEESE SCORE 110%) Oh man. I lost count of the number of times I cringed watching this movie. More than I felt comfortable with for sure. My friend said it perfectly, it was cheesy like a porno but unfortunately just never got to the porno part. Failed restauranteur, Clara, falls in love with reality star chef, Shane in the small Mountain town after about two days. However in all these movies we have that, why does it seem extra inauthentic in this movie? Terrible acting? Terrible dialogue? It’s so so hard to tell. I would say watch this movie just to try and decide for yourself. Maybe take a shot every time you have to close your eyes out of sheer disbelief.
