Newsletter IX: 5.14.18

by Cristina | Last Updated: May 14, 2018
Happy Day After Mother’s Day
I’m sure all you mothers are feeling pampered and rested and so relaxed after yesterday.  Hahahaha let’s be real, you’re moms.  What do you think this is? Who will do the stuff? But you were appreciated yesterday, right? For those 5 minutes in the morning.  Well we don’t do this for the credit, right? We do it because of love, right? Yeah.  I’m not sure either.

Am I the only one who has a secret fantasy?  You know the one where you’re there in a super fancy hotel, walking out of a steamy bathroom,  you just took a hot shower, you walk out put on that delicious robe and look over at the bed, look around the room and you are absolutely positively ALONE! You jump onto the bed order room service and watch anything you want! Ah, a girl can dream.

Well either way here is some mom-themed/not mom-themed stuff to help you survive the week.

xx
Cristina

Jared, and Joey and JTT Oh My!

Back in the day, one might say, I was boy crazy.  I would go to the grocery store with my mom on the bribe that she would buy me the latest issue of Teen Beat or Bop.  I had bulletin boards filled with inspiring quotes and pulled out pages of Jordan Castelano, Leo, and a more embarrassing JTT.  Call it nostalgia or flat out curiosity but I wondered where some of these “stud muffins” were today, so I bring you Teen Beat Heartthrobs:  Where are They Now.

teen beat heartthrobs where are they now?

What I’ve Learned About Being A Mom

I’ve only been a mom for 7 years.  It goes without saying, I have no idea what I’m doing yet.  However I am starting to suspect that none of us do.  However in honor of Mother’s Day, I wrote down some things that I have learned up to this point.  If you don’t have time to read the article, I want you to know the basic message: You are doing a great job and your kids are lucky to have you.
To the moms- soon to be moms- ladies- men reading this, I hope you all had a beautiful day with your families yesterday.  Lessons I’ve Learned As Mom- So Far.

happy mother's day

What We Tell Our Kids vs What Actually Happens

Amy Schumer was on SNL this weekend and as her gift to moms everywhere she gave us the perfect clip to describe the day those beautiful little miracles were born.  If you are pregnant or trying to become pregnant please note the video is 100% accurate and may scare the hell out of your vagina.  Click the image below.

Netflix: Meet Ali Wong
A friend of mine, who happens to read this amazing newsletter, emailed me and told me I absolutely had to check out Ali Wong’s stand up on Netflix, Baby Cobra.  Ali dives into hoarding, dating and feminism.  She kills this hour long special at 7 months pregnant.  The only thing I was doing at 7 months pregnant was eating Oreo McFlurry’s and reading 50 Shades of Grey {it was a low point}.

In even better news, her new special, Hard Knock Wife, premiered on Netflix last night- on Mother’s Day! I haven’t watched it yet, but you can pretty much guess what is going down this week.  Yeah that’s right, my life is excitingAF.

What Everyone is Talking About

Actor/Writer/Musician Donald Glover, also known as Childish Gambino released a video last week that has caused a huge controversy.  As of last night it’s had over 100 million views.

I won’t go into politics here or give you my [political] opinion, but I bring you the video so you can make your own opinion.  Check it out below.

“naps are awesome”
Because Amy Schummer killed it on Saturday here’s another clip Handmaids in the City
Since it was Mother’s Day yesterday and it made me miss my Yaya, here’s her Arroz Con Pollo with my minor tweaks.
Jimmy Fallon reads his favorite #momquotes and as usual, twitter does not disappoint.
Countdown is on: 2 more weeks! Will Bekka find love? Probably not but I am going to live story the hell out of it! Follow me @survivingcristina

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